Perfect NOT
by dream-eater-is-hungry
Summary: AU.Goku is perfect, he's smart, athletic, popular, rich, handsome too.Sanzo's a nobody yet Goku falls in love with him but Sanzo doesn't seem to love or even like him.Or so they both thought.39.58.Chap7 up! Please R&R COMPLETE!
1. Perfect NOT

**Summary: **AU. Son Goku was always perfect; smart, athletic, good-looking, popular, rich... absolutely perfect... but he wanted something more... something he never had... he wanted someone to love him... And now that he found his true love, he thought that his life can now be called perfect... there's one catch though, he loves that guy, yes, but that guy doesn't love him... or so they both thought... 39/93

**Warnings: **Yaoi 39/93(rating may go up); Sanzo OOCness**A/N: **Okay I decided to try something new this time. I've seen a lot of AU fics where Sanzo is the popular guy and Goku is the less popular one... etc... etc... and I decided to change this routine. Anyway, this is my first time writing an AU so constructive criticism will be welcome and pointless flames will be humbly ignored, though constructive ones will be taken into account.  
  
This fic is dedicated to **Genjo Sanzo1 **and **Shinoa Yuuki**, thanks guys... you've always been there for me right from the beginning; **EviL Punk Not **and **Starian Princess**, thanks guys for enduring my endless fic ramblings and for always being open minded. And lastly, to **Am1-13th**, one of the AU fic writers which I look up to the most.**Disclaimie: **If I was that rich, I would've owned them by now, but unfortunately I cannot even be considered "rich"... yet... lol

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Perfect NOT!

By: dream-eater-is-hungry

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No one is perfect...  
  
Everyone is flawed...  
  
That's what makes us, humans, a lot more interesting...---------------------------------------Goku's POV  
  
I'm perfect. Everyone says that. They must think that I'm not tired of hearing that after so many times. They think that I relish the fact that I'm...perfect? No way! They think that I'm living every teenager's dream, smart, athletic, good-looking, popular, loved by everyone, born in a rich family. But they couldn't have been more wrong. If only they knew, what it's really like.  
  
Sure, I get straight A's, center at the school's basketball team, am the most popular and most sought after boy, and maybe majority of the girls in the school have a crush on me, but who cares? At least I don't. I would trade all those, just to be truly...loved. That's all I really wanted: to be loved, especially by my parents, but they're always to busy with work to even pay attention to me. I tried to get honors and I tried to win most of my basketball matches just for them to notice me. But instead, they give me everything I want, just to make me feel better for them always too busy for me. Do they really think that money can replace love?  
  
How about my classmates, fans and worshippers, you wonder? They don't really love me. Heck, love isn't even what they're really feeling. It was more of, adoration and respect. Yes, they adore me for my talents and my looks, and respect me for my heritage. Let me rephrase that, they ONLY adore me for my talents and looks, and ONLY respect me for my heritage. If I wasn't talented, good-looking or rich, they wouldn't give a damn about me.  
  
To feel loved and to be loved, such a simple yet complicated thing that I wish for. But if God was able to give me all these blessings and talents, I'm sure He can throw in someone to truly love me to top it all off, right? And somehow, I think God has finally heard my plea because that's where he comes in.  
  
Yes, him. That beautiful man whose golden hair seemed to have been kissed by the sun; whose amethyst orbs that I've always found myself lost into; whose mere sight leaves me breathless. So beautiful, so ethereal that I doubt if he's even human.  
  
I wonder what his name is. The teacher introduced him only a few minutes ago but I was too absorbed at this... this... blonde angel in front of me to even listen. Now, I'll have to ask Gojyo for his name. Gojyo'll probably ask me to pay him big-time for the guy's name. But right now, money is neither my concern nor an object, after all, am I not rich? All I know is, I have to know this guy.  
  
Sanzo's POV  
  
"Class, this is Mr. Genjo Sanzo," the teacher said, motioning to me, "he will be joining us this in class this year..."  
  
"My name is Genjo Sanzo, pleased to meet you," I mumbled, looking away. 'Here it comes...' I thought, prepared for what will happen next.  
  
Suddenly, girls from every corner of the room started squealing and turning bright red. I just roll my eyes. I swear tomatoes look even better than a bunch of blushing girls gushing over you.  
  
"You can sit there," the teacher instructed, pointing at the fourth seat at the fifth column.  
  
As I walk towards my assigned seat, I can feel every pair of female eyes watching me. Damn, can't they just leave me alone? I sat down and turned to give them my ever famous and ever deadly stop-looking-at-me-unless-you-want- me-to-arrange-your-coffin-earlier-than-planned death glare, and that's when I saw him, sitting on the last seat of the fourth column. God, he's so beautiful. Those wide golden eyes that make him seem so innocent and naive, and those luscious lips of his that are just begging to be kissed... Oh God, what am I talking about? I am NOT falling for him... am I? Come on Sanzo, that's crazy. Why am I feeling like this then? Does that mean I'm attracted to him? Then, that means I'm gay? Whatever, all I know is I have to know this guy. There I go again. Stop thinking about kind of thoughts Sanzo! Get a grip on yourself! Remember, you're a cold-hearted bastard who doesn't give a damn to anyone in the world. But I have to admit, he's pretty cute though... Wait, did I just say he's cute?!  
  
Normal POV  
  
The morning dragged on by slowly. Goku found that he could not concentrate at his classes at all. He would always catch himself gazing at that guy and fantasizing about him. And every time he tried to force his attention to the teacher in front, his mind would always wander back to the blonde angel sitting only a few rows ahead of him.  
  
"God, I cannot wait for lunch," Goku thought, "then I can finally ask Gojyo for his name... and eat of course..."  
  
Goku gazed at the clock, trying to preoccupy himself with some else rather than staring at him. As he forced himself to watch the wall clock intensely, his view was suddenly blocked.  
  
"You..." Goku exhaled, his heart beating faster by each fleeting moment. Yes, it was his angel that was standing right in front of him.  
  
'Wait, what is he doing here?' Goku thought, confused, 'the bell hasn't rung yet, he should still be at his seat...'  
  
Goku opened his mouth to voice out his thoughts when a pale finger was pressed to his lips, silencing him. His angel then closed his eyes and started leaning forward slowly, using the desk for support.  
  
Goku gripped the table. 'What is he doing?' Goku wondered as he inched back further to his seat, trying to avoid contact.  
  
Suddenly, without warning, the chair lost balance and Goku fell backwards. Goku yelped, drawing attention from the whole class. "Itai.." Goku mumbled, rubbing his sore back.  
  
"Are you alright, Mr. Goku?" the teacher inquired.  
  
Goku sat up, red in embarrassment and blinked. He looked around the classroom, and spotted his angel, staring at him quizzically from his seat. 'Wha--?' Goku wondered, 'wasn't he just there a minute ago...?'  
  
"Mr. Goku?" the teacher called, snapping him from his thoughts, "are you alright?"  
  
"Uh... yeah..." Goku replied, distracted. 'That couldn't have been real...' he thought as he stood up, 'I must've been day dreaming about him...again..."  
  
Sanzo carried his tray, taking a moment to survey the cafeteria before deciding where to sit. Suddenly, he felt a hand land on his shoulder. He turned around and saw that it was his new "friend", Cho Hakkai.  
  
"Here..." the brunette said, leading Sanzo to a table, "we can sit together."  
  
"Whatever," Sanzo replied.  
  
Hakkai merely laughed not a least bit offended by his companion's rudeness. Sanzo raised his eyebrow in question. "Well at least you're speaking words of two syllables now," Hakkai commented, hoping to lighten his friend's mood.  
  
Sanzo rolled his eyes at his companion's enthusiasm. 'Tell me again why I got stuck with this guy?' he asked himself  
  
FLASHBACK  
  
The bell rung, signaling that class was over. Everyone started fixing their belongings and begun leaving for lunch.  
  
"Mr. Sanzo, would you please come here?" the teacher asked, motioning for Sanzo to come.  
  
Sanzo quickly put away his books and approached the teacher. "Sanzo, this is Mr. Hakkai," he said, acknowledging a man with glasses and brown locks standing beside him.  
  
"Nice to meet you," Hakkai said cheerfully, extending his arm for a handshake.  
  
"Hn," was Sanzo's only response, only bothering to shake the hand of the said man.  
  
"Anyway," the teacher continued, "since you're new, I've asked Mr. Hakkai here to show you around the campus."  
  
"Is that all?" Sanzo inquired.  
  
"Yes, the teacher replied, "you may both take your lunches now."  
  
END OF FLASHBACK  
  
"Sanzo?!" Hakkai called, waving his hand in front of Sanzo's blank face.  
  
If that had gotten Sazno's attention and brought him back to reality, Hakkai would never know because his face didn't show any change nor did it falter at the movement. 'He's really a tough nut to crack...' Hakkai observed, then he went on eating though still obviously concerned for his amethyst-eyed friend.  
  
A wall of silence hung between them, that is, until, Sanzo suddenly stood up. "I'll be looking around the campus by myself if you don't mind," he muttered, but he didn't bother to wait for an answer and just left.  
  
"I saw spacing out in class, saru," Gojyo remarked, as they made their way through the busy lunch line, "so what were you thinking about?"  
  
Goku just shrugged off the question. He wasn't really at the mood right now to talk to anyone about what happened in class earlier. And knowing Gojyo, he would tease him endlessly if he told him that it was the new kid that he was fantasi--- thinking about.  
  
"Though the more important question is who were you thinking about?" Gojyo asked, smirking as they took a seat at their table.  
  
"Whatever, Gojyo," Goku retorted half-heartedly.  
  
Gojyo didn't pester him with anymore questions. Gojyo knew Goku well enough to know that something was on his mind right now and he didn't want to talk about it.  
  
"Ne, Gojyo," Goku started, "do you know the name of the new student that just transferred?  
  
"You mean that blond?" Gojyo asked.  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
"Why'd you wanna know?" Gojyo asked curiously.  
  
Goku blushed. Unfortunately, Gojyo noticed this. "You got a crush on him, am I right?" he exclaimed triumphantly.  
  
Goku didn't answer, but his cheeks had turned a deeper shade of red, affirming Gojyo's suspicions.  
  
"Awww..." Gojyo teased, "our little saru's all grown up and falling in love..."  
  
"I do NOT like him!!!" Goku replied defensively. Though it was obvious, from how red his cheeks were, that he was lying.  
  
"Yeah right," Gojyo continued, "then why are you blushing? You're so red that you look like a boiling octopus!"  
  
Goku couldn't stand it any longer. It was no use arguing with Gojyo, especially if he's got the upper hand. So with that, Goku turned around and stomped away.  
  
"Hey, take it easy, Goku, I was just kidding!" Gojyo called, trying to appease Goku's anger. "Shit. Me and my stupid mouth," Gojyo thought as he ran after Goku, dodging the usual crowd along the way.  
  
Sanzo's POV  
  
Phew. I finally got away from that guy. I swear, something is wrong with him. And especially that smile of his. That's just so creepy. Doesn't it ever disappear or something? I wasn't really able to eat anything but I guess that's better than hanging out with that guy. Anyway, I should've asked Hakkai about that golden-eyed brunette in class. Damn, I should've done that before I left. Well, I guess I'll just have to go back and ask. And maybe grab something to bite on the way.  
  
I backtracked and headed towards the cafeteria. As I rounded a corner, I bumped into another guy with a heavy-build. Unfortunately, he didn't look too happy being bumped and all. But who was I to care. It was his fault. He wasn't looking at where I'm going.  
  
"Watch where I'm going, baka," I reflexively retorted. I then walked away, but I've only gone a few steps when that guy grabbed me by the back of my collar and pinned me against the wall.  
  
"What did you say?" he asked menacingly, his eyes narrowing.  
  
I snorted. "Dumb ass, didn't you hear what I said?" I snapped. "I said, watch where I'm going, baka," I repeated, purposely emphasizing the last word.  
  
This had set him of like a time bomb. Unfortunately, for me though, because the next thing I knew, he had thrown a punch at my stomach. "Next time, watch your mouth," he sneered, leaving me doubling over in pain.  
  
And before I knew it, I began spitting out blood. Damn, this wasn't good. It was only lunch period of my first day here and not only am I stuck with that weird always-smiling guy, but I already have one person to add in my "people-I-hate-and-will-hate-me" list and I still haven't gotten that cute brunette's name... Okay, Sanzo, you're getting delirious, you just called someone you don't even know cute. Maybe I'm running a fever. Or maybe a disease. Yeah, that's it, a not-like-yourself-and-calling-strangers-cute disease.  
  
Hakkai's POV  
  
I could not help but sigh. After Sanzo left, I couldn't keep still. There's this nagging feeling at the back of my head, telling me that I should go look for him. After all, he is my responsibility. Who knows, he might get lost or something... I should really stop being a worrywart. But in any case, I'll go look for him.  
  
Gojyo's POV  
  
Okay, this is bad. I really shouldn't have said that. Damn, I didn't know that Goku was that sensitive. Wait, he isn't. I skidded to a stop, trying to analyze my thoughts. Goku never acted like that before. Even when I teased him about the girls who had crushes on him, he never reacted this way. It was only with this guy that he even blushed! Heh, maybe our saru really is in love after all.  
  
Goku's POV  
  
Damn Gojyo. Why can't he just leave me alone and mind his own business? What does he care if I did like that blond guy? Okay, maybe I do like him. Well, maybe, I do kinda... like, like him.[1] Fine, I'll just say it: I've fallen head over heels for that guy. Don't get me wrong, I really lov-- like this guy but I don't have any intention to spill that piece of information to Gojyo. Doing that would be like trusting your life to a murderer... Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit.  
  
As I rounded what must have been the hundredth corner in the 10 minutes that I wandered around, I caught sight of a blond man crouching on the floor, clutching his stomach. At first instinct, I rushed to the stranger's side.  
  
"Hey man, are you okay?" I asked, worriedly.  
  
"Are you blind? Of course I'm okay!" the stranger snapped. Suddenly, I met beautiful amethyst eyes. His beautiful amethyst eyes. I held my breath. God, he was more beautiful up close. His skin is like porcelain. I wonder if how his skin would feel like. It's probably soft... like silk. For a while, I felt I was in heaven. I mean, we were alone and not to mention, he was in my arms. I wonder, have I already died and gone up to heaven? Because I wouldn't mind for this moment in time to last forever.  
  
Sanzo's POV  
  
"Hey man, are you okay?" someone asked me, his voice full of worry.  
  
"Are you blind? Of course I'm okay!" I snapped, but I soon regretted what I had said. Because, right there, standing beside me, whose face was only inches away form mine, was none other than that golden eyed brunette. 'Damn,' I cursed, 'me and my stupid pride.'  
  
Damn, he looks so much more innocent up close. I wonder if he was an angel sent from heaven. If he were, I am desperately hoping that he's mine. Wait, did I just say all that mushy crap? Remember Sanzo, you are an arrogant bitch whose heart is made of ice flown straight from Antartica. Quit being sentimental!  
  
Suddenly, I had a coughing fit of blood. Great, more blood to add to the ones that already painted the floor. But, this seemed to have made him more concerned about me.  
  
"We better get you to the nurse," he declared.  
  
Slinging my arm around his shoulder, he helped me stand up, using his body to support me. But as I did, I felt pain shoot through my stomach causing me to yelp in pain. Reflexively, I clutched my midsection. As I did, he locked his arms under mine and steadied me.  
  
"Are you alright?" he asked, his brow knitted in concern.  
  
A faint blush crept on my cheeks when I realized that he was hugging me... well, almost. But you have to admit; it's better than nothing. Wait, did I just blush? I blushed? No, blushing is bad... Don't you ever do that again, Sanzo. You don't have emotions. You don't feel for anyone. And you don't know feel anything at all. Okay, repeat those three sentences. You don't have...  
  
Unfortunately, my mantra was cut when I felt a warm hand press itself on my forehead. "Are you alright?" the brunette repeated, "Can you here me? You look weird, are you delirious or something?"  
  
"I'm fine," I snapped.  
  
The brunette was taken aback, a hurt expression was written all over his face. I immediately regretted snapping at him. Why couldn't I have just said it in more polite manner? And of all the people to snap at him at this moment, why'd it have to be him? Argh, stupid me!  
  
Goku's POV  
  
"I'm fine," he snapped.  
  
No, don't let this get to you, Goku. Just ignore it. Don't listen to him. But I just can't seem to shake this horrible feeling inside of me. Does he want me to leave? But I can't leave him. He's injured and obviously needs medical attention, no matter what he says. So I forced his words out of my mind and put on a cheery smile on my face.  
  
"Come on," I whispered, once again slinging his arm over my shoulder. I was determined to bring him to the infirmary, even if I have to drag him all the way there... Okay, maybe that's a bit too much.  
  
Gojyo's POV  
  
Okay, I'm really getting worried about that baka saru. Where did he run off to? As I ran across the corridor, I skidded to a halt. Hey, isn't that Goku? Hugging a guy? Wait, isn't that the new blond kid that transferred to our class? His name was Sanzo if I'm not mistaken. Hey, wait a minute! That's the guy Goku was asking me about! Did I see what I thought I saw? Did that guy just blush?!  
  
A smirk formed on my lips when I realized the situation. My suspicions were correct. Goku was in love with this guy. And not only that, it seems that this Sazno seems to feel the same with Goku. I hid behind the wall and watched the scene in front me unfold. This is just like in those romantic movies. Girl meets boy. Boy meets girl. They fall in love with each other. Except in this case, its boy meets boy, not girl.  
  
Anyway, even though I always fool around with Goku, contrary to what people say, I care for that baka saru. I mean who wouldn't be? After all, we've been best friends since I met him in detention back on the first day of 4th grade. (I was the one in detention though, he got lost and entered the detention by mistake and got detention for disturbing detention time.) And I'm really glad that you know he finally got his wish, to be loved and all.  
  
As I watch the fairy tale like scene in front of me, I felt a tap being my shoulder. I spun around and saw that it was the class nerd, Cho Hakkai.  
  
"Anou, Hakkai started, "have you seen the new guy that just transferred here?"  
  
"Aa, sure, he's over there," I replied, pointing behind me.  
  
Hakkai looked over my shoulder and his jaw dropped. I was about to walk away and leave when I heard something that made me freeze on my tracks.  
  
"I'm fine," I heard that Sanzo guy snap.  
  
I immediately looked back. I wasn't able to see Goku's face but I know well enough that Goku was hurt by that man's words.  
  
"Goku loves you! Are you blind?!" I mentally screamed at Sanzo.  
  
Suddenly, an idea popped into my head. If that Sanzo dude refuses to see that Goku likes him and to accept that he obviously likes Goku too, then I'll just have to make him realize that he and Goku were meant for each other.  
  
"Hakkai," I said, a grin forming on my lips, "looks like we're going to be playing matchmaker for a while..."  
  
[TBC]

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Damn, that was way longer than I expected. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it and I really thank you for reading it, even if it was pretty long...  
  
My favorite line from the fic: "Remember, you're a cold-hearted bastard who doesn't give a damn to anyone in the world. But I have to admit, he's pretty cute though... Wait, did I just say he's cute?!"  
  
Yesh, how I adore that line. It just proves to show that his cold-hearted "nature" is just a façade. And if you're wondering about his OOCness, it's just how I portrayed what I think is the "real" side of Sanzo, given the setting. Though, I think that Sanzo's thoughts are a bit...girlish, but hey, I'm a girl, I only know how to think like a girl... 


	2. Playing Matchmaker

A/N: Okay, I just finished writing the first chappie when I started this coz I didn't have any homework and it's still pretty early. Anyway, I want to thank EviL Punk Not, Starian Princess and Crazy-Silly-Me, my best buds, for beta reading the first chappie. I don't know if it'll be as long as the first chappie, but this chappie is definite must read. Btw, for the quote before this chappie, if you read the Bible it will be familiar because I quoted the first and third line. But if not, I suggest you read this passage, 2Cor 2:13-14, the one about love. By the way, at the very start of this chappie, Hakkai may seem a bit... dumb but in fact he's just too smart... lol so don't kill me Hakkai fans...

Pairings: SanzoxGoku/GokuxSanzo; Gojyo/Hakkai  
  
Warnings: Yaoi 39/93;58/85(rating might go up); Sanzo OOCness  
  
Disclaimie: If I was that rich, I would've owned them by now, but unfortunately I cannot even be considered "rich"... yet... lol  
  
**Playing Matchmaker**

By: dream-eater-is-hungry  
  
_Love is patient  
  
But sometimes not patient enough  
  
Love is kind  
  
Though sometimes... not kind enough  
  
And some people end up getting dumped and broken hearted instead_  
  
**Normal POV**  
  
"Wha--?" Hakkai asked, raising his eyebrow in question.  
  
"I said," Gojyo repeated, rolling his eyes, "it looks like we're going to be playing matchmaker for a while. Sheesh, for a smart guy like you, I can't believe you're so deaf when people talk to you, but when the teacher is the one talking, it seems that you can miraculously hear."  
  
Hakkai shot him a glare. "Well, so-rry," he replied, sternly, "I can't help it if I listen to class more attentively than a few **others**."  
  
"Whatever," Gojyo retorted, ignoring the fact that, that insult was meant for him, "so, are you in or not?"  
  
Hakkai shot him a questioning look. Gojyo slapped his hand on his forehead. This guy was totally impossible. If it was something the teacher said, or something that came out of a book, Hakkai would be sure to remember, but if it's something else not related to school or studies, then you can be sure that it has gone into his right ear and already went out his left.[1] "Playing matchmaker, remember?" Gojyo informed him, obviously exasperated by his companion.  
  
**Hakkai's POV**  
  
My brow furrowed as I thought about Gojyo's proposition. Honestly, I didn't want to meddle with people's affairs. I always believed that if I wanted people to respect my privacy, I should respect theirs first. But, well, I couldn't help but feel bad for Goku. I mean, we were never really close and all, but still... And besides, I saw how Sanzo blushed when Goku "hugged" him. It's obvious that Sanzo likes him. And yet, he still told Goku off. I might be a smart guy who believes that science can answer and do almost anything, even the impossible; but if there's one thing I don't believe science can answer and manipulate, it's that of love. Not even science can control the will of love. And it was obvious, right then and there that, they fell in love with each other and the angel of love made sure of it too.  
  
"Well, I don't know..." I replied slowly, "I really don't want to infringe in their personal lives but I really think that Sanzo made a big mistake telling Goku off. It was apparent that he liked Goku, and from the way I saw Goku looking at him in class, I can definitely say that Goku likes him too."  
  
Gojyo beamed. "That's the spirit," he exclaimed, slapping me playfully at my back, "by the way, mind telling me what "infringe" means?"  
  
**Gojyo POV**  
  
Hakkai sighed. "Hey I can't help it if I don't have a superior intellect like you do!" I defended, "anyway, just forget about it, we first better think of a way to let that dumb ass, Sanzo realize his feelings for Goku and Goku's feelings for him." Silence. "So...,"I started, "what do you had in mind?"  
  
Hakkai had a look of shock on his face. "Me?" he asked, "Why me? It's your idea in the first place. Why should I be the one who'll think up of a plan?"  
  
"Well, duh," Gojyo replied, "like I said, I don't have a superior intellect like you do... and besides... may I point out that you agreed to help me... and that also includes thinking up of a plan?"  
  
Hakkai sighed in resignation. I just beamed in response.  
  
'Hmmm... a plan..." Hakkai murmured, leaning on the wall with his hand cupped under his chin.  
  
**Gojyo's POV**  
  
I watched the lean brunette as he thought and I had to smile. I don't want to admit this, but Hakkai looks really cute when he looks so serious thinking like that. I mean, I never liked anyone serious before, I always avoided those smart and serious people. They all seemed so boring to me. But when it's Hakkai, it just seems so... so... different. When I see him in deep thought, it makes me want to figure out what he's thinking about, to know what's inside that brain of his, even if I'll never know for sure. You know, like you want to know everything about a person even what and how they think. I don't really know why I'm doing it, I guess you can just say, that for some reason, I'm drawn to him. Not lustfully, no, it's just, when I get near him, my heart is always skipping a beat and my stomach always does a swan dive. Anyway, I don't really expect anyone to understand what I'm trying to say here. To tell you the truth, I don't understand that much either.  
  
**Hakkai's POV**  
  
As I thought of a good plan, I can't help but suppress a blush. It's weird, you know. No one ever makes me blush, correction... no one has ever made me blush like this except him. Yes, him, this foul-mouthed man with crimson locks standing right in front of me. I've always wondered, what was it I saw in him that drew me to him? Honestly, I don't know myself all I know is, there's something about him, I don't know what, that always makes me blush and feel so light and warm, it was as if all the weight on my shoulders were lifted off. Sometimes, I really envy him. I guess that's because he's so carefree. Something I always wished I was, but I can never be.  
  
I wonder how would it be like to live so carefree like that of Gojyo? I bet it will be bliss. It's weird you know. I could've chosen not to live like this, like how my father wants me to. But I guess I really want to please him. I want to make him proud of me, even if it kills me. After all, who would? I guess I was just a tad unfortunate that my father is the one of the most-respected and top scientists in the nation. Or else, pleasing him would be more of an option, not an obligation.  
  
"So any ideas yet?" Gojyo asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.  
  
"Umm... not really," I replied, giving him a sheepish smile. But this "smile" only lasted for a moment, and it had gone on the next.  
  
"You should smile more often," Gojyo remarked, looking away, a faint twinge of pink on his cheeks," that pout does not suit you..."  
  
**Goku's POV**  
  
I sat on a plastic chair in the nurse's office, fidgeting nervously in my seat, while the nurse tended to the blond. Will he be all right? I hope he's not hurt. Please let him be all right. Please.  
  
I was deep in thought when the nurse emerged from the curtain-covered cubicle where Sanzo was. I immediately stood up, restless from the waiting. "Is he going to be alright?" I asked, worry evident in my voice.  
  
The nurse gave me a smile. "Don't worry," she reassured me, "he's alright. Fortunately, nit's nothing serious. But he will be suffering some terrible stomachaches though from the bruise he has on his abdomen. So he can't move very much, unless it will hurt."  
  
I breathed a sigh of relief. He was all right. "I see," I whispered, "thank you very much. May I see him, please?  
  
"Yes, you can," she replied, "Mr. Sanzo asleep though."  
  
"It's okay," I assured her. Sanzo... hmm... so that was his name.  
  
**Sanzo's POV**  
  
Finally, that damned nurse left me. She kept on bugging me to rest. If I didn't feign sleep, I didn't think she would leave me at all. I tried to sit up but then, I felt sudden pain. God, my stomach hurts. I swear, once I'm finally healed, I will personally look for that guy who punched me and make him pay for this bruise.  
  
Suddenly, I heard footsteps. I instantly, lay back down and closed my eyes, pretending to be asleep. I don't want to talk to anyone or see anyone right now, especially that nurse. I just want be alone, away from anything and everything, especially that brunette. Yes, how can I face him after **that**?  
  
_**FLASHBACK**  
  
"Are you alright?" the brunette repeated, pressing his hand on my forehead, "Can you hear me? You look weird, are you delirious or something?"  
  
"I'm fine," I snapped.  
  
**END OF FLASHBACK**_  
  
I closed my eyes and tried to forget about it. But I found that I couldn't. Every time I close my eyes, I would always see his hurt face haunting my mind. What was it with him anyway? I mean, why am I so drawn to him? What makes him so special that I actually cared when I snapped at him? Maybe... is it maybe because I care for him? Or maybe even love him? But that's absurd. That's crazy. Just plain crazy! How can I instantly fall in love with a person I just met today? I might not be the expert at love but I know that it takes time for someone to truly love you. No one ever falls in love at first sight. That only happens in the movies... right?  
  
My thoughts were interrupted by a smooth hand caressing my face. I was tempted to grab that person's arm and twist it, but I didn't. Hell, I didn't even flinch. Maybe because it would give me away. Or maybe because, it felt so right, not to mention... comforting...at that time. But my mind refused to accept the latter thought. Like it always had.  
  
Why? Why do I always have to hide? Why can't I take off my mask and be who I really am for once?  
  
'Because then, you'll be vulnerable,' my mind answered, 'If you open up, people will be able to toy with your feelings and hurt you. They can betray you... just like father did...[2]'  
  
At the thought of my father, pain and anger surged through my veins. Yes, that bastard man who cheated his wife and left her, who left her pregnant and without money to support their child.  
  
I didn't know what had happened to me. I was thinking about my father and before I knew it, tears had sprung from my eyes and rolled down my cheek.  
  
**Hakkai's POV**  
  
I felt my face turn a hundred different shades of red at that moment. I was taken aback by Gojyo's statement. What did he mean by that? Does that mean he likes me? I quickly shook that thought away from my mind. Nah can't be. Why would he like a guy like me? But still, he was blushing when he said that, so there might be a chance, right?  
  
"So um... how about you?" I asked, trying to strike up a conversation to ease the sudden tension between us, "do you have any ideas?  
  
"Well..." he stuttered, scratching his head. "Honestly... I got nothing..." he said somewhat pessimistically.  
  
"Come on..." I encouraged, "we can do this..." Suddenly, my hand had found its way onto his shoulder. I was about to pull it back when a foreign hand had lay itself on top of mine, as if telling me not to withdraw it.  
  
I had to admit the touch felt somewhat... right. I mean, it didn't feel awkward at all. It felt as if my hand belonged to him and his, to me.  
  
We stood there, with only the occasional sound of our breathing disrupting the peace. I don't know how long we've been standing there, but I wished that it would last forever.  
  
**Gojyo's POV  
**  
I am seriously praying [for once] that God will not let this moment end, not now and not ever. This has to be one of my most embarrassing and yet, happiest moments of my life. When I placed my hand on his, I thought he would pull away. You would know how happy I was when he didn't. Honestly, for the first time, I was uncertain of my actions. Weird, isn't it? For the first time, I was uncertain when trying to court someone... wait did I just say I was courting him? What the heck, might as well admit it... I **like **the guy, okay? End of story. Now on to the next chapter, how to let him know that I like him more than just a friend... And I better make it quick. Who knows, someone might beat me to his heart. If that would happen, I would seriously freak.. wait, that's it!  
  
"Kai, I got it," I exclaimed, "I figured out a way to make Sanzo realize his feelings for Goku."  
  
Hakkai smiled. "Well, what did you have in mind?" he asked.  
  
**Goku's POV  
**  
I went in the cubicle or whatever you called it. I let out a breath that I never knew I had been holding. There he was, sleeping like an angel. So beautiful. Subconsciously, my hand reached out and caressed his face. Suddenly, I stiffened. Uh, oh... then I let out a relieved chuckle. I just remembered, I don't have to worry about him slaughtering me for ahem... touching him, after all, he is asleep. And like how the saying goes, what he doesn't know won't hurt me.  
  
As I stood there caressing his face, I noticed tears rolling down his cheeks. My heart ached to see him like that. I wiped away his salty tears and leaned down. Let me help you feel better; let me be the one to stop your tears, to mend your crying heart.  
  
**Sanzo's POV**  
  
Damn, why did those tears have to roll down? Why? But I knew I couldn't help it. Even if I tried to suppress it, it would eventually fall. Suddenly, I felt a hand brushing away my tears. I could feel my cheeks burning at his feather touches. Then, I felt a hot breath on my face. He isn't... Then, I felt something brush lightly on my lips. He seriously isn't... right? Unable to stand doing any more guessing work, I opened one eye and peeked out. What I saw made my eyes fly open and grow wide.  
  
There in front of me, was the brunette, only a few inches from my face, with his eyes closed and his succulent lips, almost touching mine.

.

.

.

Evil cliffie... bwahahaha [cough] [cough]  
  
[1] This is an expression my teachers use very often. It is more commonly said in Filipino though. (Pumapasok sa isa mong tenga at lumalabas sa kabila.) The meaning is already obvious. But if you still don't get it, it means, it never goes into your brain, it just goes in then immediately out.  
  
[2] Sanzo's mad at his father because he cheated his wife a.k.a. Sanzo's mom and left her penniless when she was 7 months pregnant. Sanzo's mother died when he was born and he was left to the care of his mother's older brother, Komyou.  
  
I have to apologize if this chappie came out later than expected... and shorter too... I was too busy with classes that I had no time to finish this. Btw, I apologize for the excessive switches in POV's. I just find POV's easier to write since I can go in depth with the character's thoughts and emotions better than just the normal POV.


	3. Sanzo's Fantasies and the Love Letters

**Warnings: **Yaoi(39/93; 58/85)- you have been warned! Somewhat lemonly lime but not yet entirely lemony lemon parts at the beginning. (I already placed the warning at the top of the page so I don't want to see anyone complaining that there was no warning at all!)

Oh yes, I'm so evil for leaving you with one evil cliffie in the last chappie and having you wait this long for the next chappie even if it was finished ages ago... lol. Anyways, I'm glad people still like this even if lesser people reviewed in the 2nd chappie... oh well, I just hope that people will still keep on reviewing... Btw, I seem to have forgotten to reply to the reviews in the last chappie... sorry... but thank you nonetheless

**Lin: **well this takes place during their senior year... I can't give you a definite age as in some countries like mine, the ages of students vary at their high school years because in some schools, they have an extra grade before high school, the 7th grade... but if I were to base it from my school, they would be 17.

**Wasabii: **thank you... I'm really enjoying writing this and I'm really happy that you enjoyed it as well

**Shinoa Yuuki: **my gawd! I saw you in the newspaper and you were so pretty... anyway, back to my reply... I don't know if I'll end the next chappie as a cliffie... maybe not /fingers crossed behind back/

**Phyllis: **I can make more evil or was that eviller... well whatever... more evil sounds nicer... a whole lot more evil cliffies...

**Hayashi-kutsuki: **thank you for reviewing

**EviL: **yes I left an evil cliffie... and the harry/snape... sam lost it!!!!

**Crazy Silly Me: **I don't know how long this'll be... hopefully not too long

**Underworld Ruler: **You're the 3rd or was that 4th that told me how evil the last cliffie was...

**Me-Nuriko: **well i don't want to spoil it but you're absolutely correct...

**Ying Fa19: **Thankies! I know Sanzo is strong but this is an AU, he doesn't fight nor have the same skills, stamina, etc. as that in the series. Here, he's an ordinary high school student, not a chain smoker monk who fights demons 24/7.

**Disclaimie: **If I was that rich I would've owned them by now... lol... but I'm can't be considered rich... yet...

**Sanzo's Fantasies and the Love Letters**

By: dream-eater-is-hungry

Sanzo's POV

I felt my heart beating faster than it should. What should I do? Should I scream? Should I push him away? These possibilities lingered in my mind. But such thoughts disappeared when I felt his lips brush onto mine. God, that felt so... so right. I don't want to admit it but, I... I liked it. And as far as I'm concerned, I wanted no, I needed more. I don't know what possessed me pull him by his collar but what is done is already done. He gave a surprised yelp and landed roughly on top of me, but I don't mind. Who wouldn't? Then, without further hesitation or second thoughts, I devoured his mouth, forcing my tongue inside. This took him by surprise but soon after, he complied. As we deepened our kiss, my tongue darted out of his mouth and I slowly let it slide over the bottom of his lower lip then lightly nipping it.(1) He gave out a low moan that he had long been suppressing.

"You liked that didn't you?" I whispered huskily. He nodded meekly in response. This made only made me smirk. "Well don't worry, there's a lot more where that came from..." I reassured him.

"Give me more then..." he murmured in my ear.

"Are you tempting me?" I shot back.

"Maybe..." he replied, flicking his tongue on my earlobe, sending shivers done my spine. From my ear, his tongue had found its way to my neck.

"Ah!" I exclaimed as I felt something nip, or rather bite me suddenly. I glared at him, silently demanding for an explanation.

"Just a love bite," he whispered, a foolish grin gracing his lips. "We wouldn't want anyone else claiming you, now would we?" he added, his hot breath tickling my skin.

Before I knew it, he was fumbling for my shirt buttons. "These," he said, "have got to go..." And soon, my face was flushing, my shirt was half opened and I found that I could no longer talk coherently, much more, say a complete and meaningful sentence. I gasped as I felt him slide his hands across my chest, while his tongue, lightly tracing the contours of my upper body. Unconsciously, my hand had found its way to his thigh. A groan escaped his lips as I slid my hand further upwards and stopped at his bottom. He gasped and turned bright red when I had suddenly squeezed his behind. I smirked smugly.

"Why you..." he said, somewhat seriously yet half jokingly, "well two can play this game..."

As I tried to figure out what he meant, he suddenly took my mouth into his, savoring his sweet taste, drowning in the depths on my carnal desires. Funny, how attraction can easily turn into lust. As the word around me seem to melt, I did not notice his hand slipping further down until I had felt him caressing me through the fabric of my slacks. At this, I felt myself my cheeks burn up and I realized that I was slowing getting aroused. I let out a moan that had been once caught in my throat. If he had a smug grin on his face, I do not know. There was only one thing that mattered to me right now. I wanted, no, needed more! I arched my hips, hoping to get more than just a few feather touches. I don't care if he was laughing at me right now. All I know is... I wanted more... I want him... I want him now...

"I want you..." I whispered, somewhat coherently, my cheeks, bright crimson.

I expected him to chuckle or to tease me, but the next thing he said puzzled me. "What's the answer, Mr. Sanzo?" He asked.

"Wha--?" I wondered. Suddenly, the infirmary, not to mention, my angel with chocolate locks started to disappear. And the classroom soon came into focus. What the fuck? What happened to my angel? Why am I in the classroom? Am I not supposed to be in the infirmary?

"Mr. Sanzo! What's the answer to the question on the board?!" the teacher half-shouted. At this, I was snapped out of his thoughts, not to mention, my fantasies, and was abruptly brought back into reality.

I looked around my surroundings and was surprised to see that everyone was looking at me with puzzled looks. Then, my eyes had laid on him and my face immediately heated up.

"Mr. Sanzo, Stop day dreaming and answer my question," the teacher exclaimed, obviously irritated by my lack of attentiveness.

Day dreaming huh? So it was all a dream? It wasn't true? But it seemed so real... Not to mention a whole lot better than what actually happened. Argh! I don't even want to recall what happened...

**_FLASHBACK_**

_My eyes flew wide open when I saw what was in front of me. Never in my life, did I ever imagine, an angel, whose face barely inches, or should I say millimeters away from my face, ready to capture my lips into a kiss. I tried to jerk back and tried to avoid his touch at all costs. Suddenly, I felt myself backing up against the bed's headboard. Uh-oh! Trapped! As his succulent lips neared mine, I was tempted to just play along and pay for the usual pit of regret and self- irritation later. But as usual, my pride didn't allow it._

_'Just slap him, will you?! Dammit,' my conscience tried persuading me._

_'But...' I reasoned out._

_'Oh! You may want to enjoy it now, but what about after? What will you do when people will find out about this incident? Do you think you can stand the teasing and stereotyping? You know how homophobic the majority is! Plus, need I remind you, you're NOT gay, remember? You're Sanzo, the self centered cold hearted STRAIGHT bastard who thinks nothing but himself. You don't want to ruin your image do you?'_

_'You got a point there...'_

_I think you can already guess what happened next. Of course, I grabbed the nearest magazine on the bedside table and immediately hit him on the head. He reflexively nursed the forming lump on his head._

_"What did you do that for?" he demanded._

_"You were trying to molest me, baka!" I retorted._

_"I wasn't!" he defended._

_"Whatever... but don't you; I repeat, don't you ever dare try that again! Ever!" I growled, giving him my deadliest glare, usually reserved for the ones on my people-whom-I-hate-and-hate-me-likewise list._

**_END FLASHBACK_**

It had already been 3 days since that incident and as far as I'm concerned, that incident was just another nightmare that's bound to be forgotten. But still, I was this close... this close to having my angel kiss me. And if it weren't for my stupid pride, I would've gotten it too. Wait... since when did he become MY angel? Bad thoughts, Sanzo, erase those kind of thoughts form your mind! Repeat after me, I am NOT gay. I am NOT gay. I am NOT gay, but why do I love a guy? So that means I'm gay? But I thought I just said I was not gay.... Whatever....

"Mr. Sanzo, for the last time! Stop dozing off in my class and answer my question!" the teacher shouted, exasperated with me by now.

"I can't help it if your class is this boring that I've already fallen asleep," I muttered as I stood up to answer the damned question on the board and make my miserable teacher happy... for once.

Goku's POV

I tried my best to concentrate in class. But I just found it hard to do so. Why? Simple, because I can't help but fantasize about what would've happened if Sanzo didn't hit me on my head with a magazine in the infirmary 3 days ago.

"Come on Goku, concentrate!" I tried telling myself. But seriously, sometimes my mind has legs of its own. It wanders around like crazy!

Just as I was seriously ready to listen to the old coot being that our teacher, I heard him exclaim out loud, making me jump in my seat.

"Mr. Sanzo! What's the answer to the question on the board?!"

I breathed out a sigh of relief. That was close. I thought he was going to reprimand me. I turned to look at Sanzo. Then for a brief moment, our gazes locked. Immediately, my face flustered. I turned away from him, hoping that he did not see me blushing like hell. God, I wish I just had enough courage to tell him how I feel but after that incident at the infirmary, I've suddenly lost confidence. What if he doesn't like me back? I'd rather spend my entire life keeping all these feelings inside rather than telling it all then juts get rejected in the end.

"What did you say?!" the teacher demanded, again making me jump for the second time today.

"Whatever..." Sanzo replied as he answered the question on the board.

At this, the teacher fumed. "Detention for you Mr. Sanzo" he half- screamed in anger.

"At what grounds?" Sanzo challenged, glaring at the said teacher.

I saw our teacher flinch under his glare but quickly regained his composure. "For disrespecting authority," he replied.

"Ch" was Sanzo's only reply.

Gojyo's POV:

This is sweet! This is just too good to be true. That blond bastard is having detention this afternoon. Kami-sama must be on our side in this crazy plan. You see, our plan involved Sanzo being in detention for it to work. So I was planning to fake an offense making those old coots think that it was his doing so that he'll get detention. But it looks like I don't have to waste the extra effort anymore. This is going to be one hell of a day for Goku's dearest Sanzo.

I sighed. The things I do for the happiness of my friend. And now that everything's settled: the letters already stashed, the shirt and Homura all taken care of, all we need now is a hell of good luck that everything will go as planned.

I leaned back in chair while the babbling coot in front continued rambling about equilibrium and torque(2) and all that nonsense that'll never serve purpose in my life. I surveyed the classroom and for some reason, my gaze fell on Cho Hakkai. I immediately felt my face heat up. I suddenly felt guilty for having him write a hundred different love letters, all hand written. Maybe I should you know treat him to dinner or something... Yeah right! Like I'll get enough courage to go right up to him and just say: "Hey Hakkai, I'm really sorry for making you suffer, mind if you go out to dinner with me, you know like a date or something 'coz god, Hakkai, I really love I mean, like you and all that..." As if! I'm not that forward you know! I know! Maybe if I write him a lov-, a letter. But he might feel awkward if I tell just tell him how I feel. Plus, he might reject me. Sha always-gets-his-girls Gojyo, getting rejected? That'll be the worst humiliation in my life. But what if I don't write whom it's from, like an anonymous letter from a secret admirer. Yeah... that could work.

I took out a clean sheet of paper and fished out my favorite red fountain pen.

_Dear Hakkai... _

Hakkai's POV

Kami-sama help me, I think my hands are going to fall off. Why, you ask? I don't know, maybe because a certain hot and utterly irresistible red-head with whom I'm conspiring with, asked me to write a hundred, I repeat a hundred different love letters all addressed to Goku. And to top it all of, he wanted it all handwritten! The nerve of that guy!

'You're pissed off by him and yet you call him hot and utterly irresistible... o-kay' my conscience commented.

'Oh just shut up will you?' I retorted, 'I can't help it if I find him attractive and feel such irritation for him at the same time!'

'Ah, a classic case of "you-hate-the-ones-you-love"...'

I felt my face flush at that statement. 'Who said that I loved him? I just find him attractive that's all!' I defended.

'As if! It's all the same, attraction then leads to a puppy love which can then develop into something more passionate called true love... I've seen it happen and there's no denying it... you're in love...'

'I am seriously watching too much sappy movies that it's seriously damaging my brain and leading my conscience to think I'm in love with that guy!'

'Fine, fine, you're in denial... you'll get pass through that stage... But there's no mistaking it, you're in love and if I remember correctly you wrote him a love letter... and you were dreaming about him last night...'

'Right now, I am pretending that you don't exist and that I didn't hear a word you said.'

Goku's POV

Minutes seemed to tick by slowly. I watched the clock with such intensity that I think I could've already burned holes in it, but finally just as my eyes were about to hurt from the strain, the bell had rung. Finally! I didn't think I could spend one more minute in that classroom with the old coot babbling about equilibrium, something I know will be utterly useless in the years to come. I quickly gathered my belongings and left the classroom. My next and last class for the day is English, same as Sanzo. Funny isn't it? For some crazy coincidence, Sanzo and I have exactly the same schedule. I guess I'm lucky. I get to see my Sanzo the whole day every five school days a week. I approached my locked and started imputing the combination. The lock clicked open and as I opened its door, my eyes grew wide. The next thing I knew, I was on the floor, with a pile of letters, love letters I presume from the hearts drawn on the envelope, on top of me and more of them still falling out from my locker. I stuck my head from the mountain of mail that I was currently buried under. I heard giggles and snickers from all around. As I turned to look at the crowd that had formed around me, I caught sight of Sanzo and I immediately flushed. Then I saw it. Although he was trying to control it, I could tell by his colder-than-usual glare that he was really pissed off.

Uh-oh, this is not good. I could feel his cold gaze piercing me. I swallowed a lump that had formed in my throat. What to do? What to do?

But before I can make a decision, he started to walk away. I quickly jumped up and grabbed his wrist.

"Sanzo...I can explain" I started, finding the right words to explain the incident just a few minutes ago. But try as I might to rack my brain, I couldn't find any possible excuse.

"Don't bother," he snapped, harshly pulling his wrist from my grasp, "why should I care about your love life, baka..." And with that he turned away.

I hung my head. I was angry at myself; incensed that I chose a locker situated just some yards outside the English classroom and also for the reason that we coincidentally had the exact same classes all at the same timeslots.

(T.B.C.)

(1) It's one of a guy's 9 pleasure points... don't ask me if it's true 'coz I just came across an article on this while I was skimming through a Cosmopolitan magazine in my aunt's clinic.

(2) It's part of physics. I purposely chose this because in our school, you take up Physics in the senior year and in this AA(though it doesn't state anywhere in my fic) they're in 4th year hihg school.

A/N: Another one of my favorite lines: "Plus, need I remind you, you're NOT gay, remember? You're Sanzo, the self centered cold hearted STRAIGHT bastard who thinks nothing but himself. You don't want to ruin your image do you?"

I like this one too: Repeat after me, I am NOT gay. I am NOT gay. I am NOT gay, but why do I love a guy? So that means I'm gay? But I thought I just said I was not gay....

Gawd, how I adore those two lines....


	4. Of Crazy Innuedos and the Accident

Pairings: 39, 58

Warnings: Yaoi( - if you somehow get a negative reaction to yaoi, don't read this anymore… I am not responsible for anything that may happen to you while reading this…) Sexual hints

A/N: I just almost finished reading a Yu-Gi-Oh foursome fic if it wasn't for my sister…grrr… Anyways, I was thinking of maybe writing one too… that is after I finish, either "Once Upon a…" or "Hisoka?" and half way through this. But that's still a long way from now. Here are my replies to the reviews, which by the way is slowly decreasing… But I won't let that stop me…

Disclaimie: If I was that rich I would've owned them by now… lol... but I'm can't be considered rich… yet…

Of Crazy Innuendoes and the Accident

By: dream-eater-is-hungry(for reviews that is…)

Sanzo's POV:

I grunted. Why should I care if that baka gets love letters? From what I've heard, he's the most sought after boy in school so it's just natural that he'd get plenty of those. But when I just saw all those letters, I couldn't control myself. For some reason, it was as if something was boiling inside of me and was threatening to explode right then and there.

"Maybe that was because you were jealous…" my conscience sarcastically reasoned out.

"As if!" I retorted, taking my seat in the classroom, just as the bell had rung to signal the start of class.

Goku's POV

Shit. Shit. Shit. He must be angry with me right now. Whoa, rewind, why would he be angry? It's just letters. I get why I care so much about angering him but him getting angry over some stupid love letters is just a plain mystery. Wait a minute! Could it be possibly because, maybe, he has feelings for me? I do hope so.

Suddenly, the bell had rung. I quickly scrambled to my feet but the vice-principal, who was doing his rounds around the school, abruptly stopped me.

"Mr. Son Goku, I do believe this mess belongs to you, am I correct?" he stated.

I sweatdropped and nervously looked at the pile of letters scattered all over the floor. "Ummm… yes sir…" I answered meekly.

"If that is so, I advise that you clean it up before I give you detention for this…" he continued, his tone stern. And with that, he had gone about to continue his rounds.

When he was out of earshot, I sighed. I better do this as quickly as possible. I quickly gathered all the letters and stuffed them back into my locker. I'll deal with them later, right now, I'm late for my class.

I scurried to the classroom only a few feet away from my locker and slowly opened the door, peeking if the teacher had already arrived. Hopefully, his fortune would turn to his side and kami-sama would somehow make his oh-so-ever-punctual teacher of his late for his class.

"Mr Goku, nice of you to join us…"came the sarcastic comment from his sensei. I guess not.

I pushed opened the door, meeting my teacher's menacing glare. This made me gulp He hated it when one of his pupils were late.

"Why don't you take your seat, Mr. Goku," he suggested, his voice dipping with sarcasm. "Oh and by the way, you have detention this afternoon for being tardy in my class," he added as an afterthought.

I slumped into the hard wooden chair. This is definitely not my day. First, those letters and because of those, I get detention this afternoon.

Gojyo's POV.

I smirked. Yep, kami-sama is on our side today. I guess those times that I would cut classes paid off after all. I practically memorized the vice-principal's usual route around the school when he did his rounds. Plus, it was Goku's habit to return his textbooks in his locker after every class as they were extremely thick and made his backpack heavy. And since both Goku and I have exactly the same classes together, our Physics class today would always be after study hall. All I had to do was sneak out of study hall, stuff all those letters in the slots of Goku's locker, add it with some careful timing, and wa-la! Hakkai and I were able to fit the final pieces of our plan together. And Goku would never suspect that everything was all just a set-up. I'm a genuis!

Feeling as if someone was watching me, I glanced around the room. Then, I suddenly met Hakkai's gaze from across the room. I immediately felt my face flush up but I tried to cover it up by giving him a smile and a thumbs-up. That's when I saw it. I saw Hakkai finally smile, and it was a genuine smile at that. Gods, you look so beautiful with that smile on Hakkai. At that thought, I quickly turned away, hoping that Hakkai didn't see my reddening cheeks. What is the matter with me? Why can't I just walk up to him and tell him how I feel? But he might not feel the same way about me. Forget that last thought. I don't think I'll be able to take it, if Hakkai rejects me. I rather live and know that there might be a fifty-fifty chance that he may have feelings for me then to live knowing that he will never love me, at all.

Hakkai's POV

I felt my chest suddenly constrict. I should be happy. After all, Gojyo had just flashed me a smile, but suddenly, he had turned his back on me. I sighed. I pulled out a while envelope with Gojyo's name on it out my pocket and stared at it forlornly. After what had just transpired, I'm now uncertain whether or not I should drop this letter in his locker. I might just make a fool out of myself. He might see through my letter and figure out its me. Then I'll end up getting rejected and be the laughingstock of the school. Wait… since when did I care about what people think about me? I used to be picked on and laughed at for being a geek, but I never really cared until now that is. I guess I'd suddenly become so self-conscious, probably because I don't want Gojyo to see me as a geek and a nerd, or so I am often teased as. I guess you can say I want Gojyo to like me. I sighed for the nth time. I've decided. Screw the letter.

I was so lost in thought that I did not notice that the final bell had rung to signal dismissal. I only noticed when I noticed everyone packing his or her notebooks and pens. I quickly gathered up my belongings and hurriedly left, eager to get to the comforts of my home, away from Gojyo. And in my rush, I did not notice that the letter that I placed on top of my desk had fallen onto the floor, in plain sight.

Normal POV

Everyone had left the classroom. As Yumi1, who always sat at the very back row at the very last column, walked towards the front of the room where the exit was, she noticed something white in the corner of her eye. In her curiosity, she wormed her way in between the neatly lined desks and bent over to pick up the white envelope that she had seen. She turned it over and saw that it was addressed to Sha Gojyo.

"Well, I better give this to him then," she said out loud.

--

Yumi raced to the school's entrance hoping to maybe catch upon Gojyo there. She had been scanning the crowd for him when she caught sight of his unmistakable red hair.

"Gojyo-sama!" she exclaimed, trying to catch his attention, as she tried to fight her way across the crowd to somehow get closer to him, "Gojyo-sama!"

Gojyo turned around at the mention of his name. "Oh, it's Yumi," he noticed. He waited for her to catch up. When she did, she was breathing heavily from dodging the crowd. "Yo, what's up," he greeted.

"I just… came… to give you this…" she said in between pants, holding out the letter to Gojyo, "I… found it… in the… English… classroom… on my way…. Out.

Gojyo took the letter and saw his name neatly printed on the outside. "Thanks," he said, flashing her a grin. "Let me treat you to ice cream or something sometime, okay? Ja!" he added before taking off to his house's direction.

Gojyo's POV

As I walked home, I couldn't help but wonder who was this letter from or what contained. I repeatedly turned the envelope over and over again, trying to figure out who would send this to me. Maybe it was Yumi, nah! From what I remember, she already has a boyfriend from another school. So who could it be? Well, there's only one way to find out. I ripped open the side of the envelope and pulled out a white piece of paper. I unfolded it and began reading its contents.

_Dear Gojyo…_

Goku's POV I trudged to room 601 where I'll be spending the next hour and a half of detention. Kami-sama must hate me for making this day a total hell. What did I do to ever deserve this? Maybe it's 'coz I fell in love with that Sanzo guy… yeah, maybe that's it. He's punishing me for loving someone of the same gender. After all, it is one of his commandments or something. Wait a minute, since when did I practice any religion for that matter? Who cares. All I know is kami-sama hates me for some reason and is punishing me. I stopped in my tracks and gave a small sigh. Well, detention, here I come. I slowly push open the wooden door and walked in. As I was about to hand my detention slip to the supervising teacher, I noticed a familiar face: Sanzo. There he was, reading a book, the warm afternoon sun casting a dim glow upon his face, making him seem like an angel right at that moment. I scanned the room and saw that there was only one more seat left: the seat beside Sanzo. I gulped. As much as this is a dream come true, this is not good considering the incident with the letters just before English class. 

After much deliberation, I decided to go right ahead and take the seat. Maybe if I ignore him, he'll ignore me too. Yeah, that's right. And besides, I looked like an idiot just standing there in the middle of the room. Just as I was making my way to the seat, someone burst in the room. Uh-oh, more bad news: Homura.

He gave his slip to the teacher and turned his gaze to the classroom. For a moment, his eyes had locked into mine, a smirk forming across his lips. This wasn't good. Maybe I should give you a load down on why I am absolutely terrified of this guy. It's simple really: this guy has a crush on me. Not that I don't mind or anything, but he has a weird, not to mention perverted way, of expressing this. I remember, last Valentine's day, he snuck into the office and used the PA system to deliver his so-called Valentines to me. Ordinarily, I would've been flattered, but not when your admirer would dedicate a song for you and that song just happened to be "All Day Long, I Think About Sex." And much to my horror, he even sang along for everyone to hear.

"Hey Goku," Homura purred, snapping me out of my thoughts, "Oops, it looks like there's only one seat left…"

'Nice observation,' I thought, sarcastically.

"I know, we can share!" he exclaimed.

Uh-oh, I do not like the sound of this. Before I knew it, Homura was sitting at MY seat, with me sitting at HIS lap, his arms, snaked around my waist, holding me in place.

"Now isn't this comfortable, ne, Goku?" he said huskily.

I tried wriggling out of his hold but this only seemed to turn him on. I realized this when I heard a soft moan escape his lips. At the sound of it, I became tense. It looks like there's no way to get out of this. I turned to Sanzo, hoping that maybe he could help me, but it looked like he was too absorbed with his book to even realize what's happening. I am doomed.

Sanzo's POV

I could feel my veins threatening to explode. It took almost my entire will power to suppress this urge I have to tear this guy who had been flirting with Goku for almost the entire detention. Fortunately, I found that forcing myself to concentrate on my book was somewhat effective, if you call reading the same sentence for the nth time effective though. I looked at my wristwatch and saw that I only had 45 minutes left until I was home free.

'45 more minutes, Sanzo,' I thought to myself, 'you can do this'

Homura's POV 

I couldn't take it anymore. Goku was trying to wriggle free but all he ended up doing was grinding his ass unto me, turning me on by the minute. Finally, I let out the mona that I had been suppressing for the past 5 minutes. Goku must've heard it for the next minute, he immediately stopped moving and his body tensed up.

'Hmmm… I know…" I thought, pleased by my idea.

"You know, you should unwind, Goku," I started, speaking loud enough for both Goku and that blonde beauty beside us who I would've without second thought, dragged to a nearby bathroom or closet. "You always seem so tense you know…" my voice trailed off as I begun to slowly skillfully knead his back.

At first, he seemed to tense up to my touch but he soon began to relax. I smirked to myself as I slowly went lower, earning myself a small moan of pleasure from the young brunette. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the blond scowling.

'Too bad," I thought, 'you had your chance, but you just threw it away…'

Sanzo's POV

This is getting out of hand. I don't care if Goku turns that guy on, for all I care. But it's a different matter if someone else tries to turn Goku on.

I tried burying myself in my book, hopeful that it'd be able to drown out the sounds of Goku's moans. Other people might've gotten turned on, hearing an utterly gorgeous guy moaning in pleasure, may it be caused by one's self or someone else but unfortunately, I am not one of those people. If Goku moans, it'd be because of me and only me!

I gritted my teeth out of frustration. I unconsciously curled my fingers into a fist, my fingernails digging deep into my flesh as I tried to supress this urge to tear this guy into pieces.

No such chance.

I was just about to pounce when suddenly the teacher stood up, announcing that detention is over and that we can leave. Finally! I quickly grabbed my bag and my book, and practically sprinted out of school.

'Go home, eat, take a nice long shower, homework, sleep and forget about everything that happened today…' I commanded myself, 'maybe some sleeping pills would help with the forgetting bit…'

Goku's POV

I felt myself in total bliss. This massage felt so good. Unconsciously, out of pleasure, I let out a small moan. Suddenly, I felt a warm breath over my neck, sending a chill down my spine.

"Relax…" I heard someone murmur.

'Sanzo…' I thought, imagining myself in a beach, with him massaging sunscreen unto my back, his skillful hands kneading lower and lower…

My fantasy was abruptly cut short when I felt something cold lapping at my earlobe. I almost jumped when I saw a mop of black hair out of the corner of my eye.

'Fuck, I forgot its Homura I'm with right now… not Sanzo!' I panicked.

I pushed him away and sent him the best glare I could come up with but my efforts only seemed to amuse him. "Fuck off…" I hissed as I wiped my earlobe clean.

"You want me to stop?" he asked, feigning surprise, "from what I remember, you were in total bliss just a few moments ago…"

I was about to give a retort when the teacher announced that we could leave. I almost jumped for joy. It meant that I had survived yet another one of Homura's ploys to claim me thought I had to admit, I did enjoy the massage earlier on. I only wished it was Sanzo doing the massaging, not Homura. Oh well. Only in my dreams I guess.

I hurriedly left the classroom, wanting to be as far away from Homura as possible. I raced out of the school entrance and ran across the school parking lot to retrieve my car. In my hurry, I did not notice a car approaching me and the driver must've not seen me, considering that I just ran across the lot and smack down the middle of the road because the next thing I knew, everything went black.

TBC

1 Yumi is a small insignificant OC…

A/N: Finally! Anyway, I need your opinion guys, is the fic too serious? Should I lighten it down a bit, maybe make it shorter and lessen the POV switches? "Coz in my opinion its too serious, it's too long and there're too much POV switches… I figured it makes the story less enjoyable that's all…


	5. Almost Happily Ever After

**Warnings:** Yaoi, Slight Sanzo OOCness - forgive me for this…

**A/N:** I am depressed… my reviews are dwindling… oh well… on the bright side, Perfect Not is almost done! I had a great time with this fic although most of the time, it only gave me a headache but it was all worth it. Btw, I am terribly sorry to those who reviewed the 3rd chapter… I forgot to thank you guys in the last chappie… I feel so guilty now… Also, I'm trying my best to put all my effort into this chapter as the last chapter kinda sucked.

**Reply to the reviews:**

**Komoyo Minku:** I'll try to make a lemon for this, okay? And I'll do my best to keep it funny too.

**Shinoa Yuuki:** I'm getting rusty… especially with Sanzo, I know… maybe its 'coz I haven't been reading any Saiyuki fics for a log time and I haven't exactly been watching Saiyuki in AXN either. Not to worry though, I watched Saiyuki Gunlock to refresh my memory a bit. I hope this makes up for the last chapter.

**Mr. Giggles:** Homura is having a happy groping party with Sanzo… Hahaha…

**Blood-Debt:** Blood-Debt! You got a ff. n e t account! Btw, I didn't get your review… what seems to be a little desperate?

**Cheerful-Angel57:** I'll do my best to speed up the updates

**KotoJuri:** I'm doing my best to update as fast as I possibly can.

**C.T.:** Don't worry, I'll make sure to lock Homura up in a cage and send the cage to Antarctica. How does that sound?

**Crazy-Silly-Me: **He's gonna die! Joke! Not gonna happen.

**Disclaimer:** If I was that rich I would've owned them by now… lol... but I'm can't be considered rich… yet… btw, "The Da Vinci Code"… not mine! But I loved it, nonetheless.

Almost Happily Ever After… 

By: dream-eater-is-hungry

Sanzo's POV

I rushed out of the car. I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw whom I had hit. Inwardly, I groaned. Of all the people in the world who could've been standing there right at that moment when I had my eyes off the road for a moment, it had to be him, Son Goku.

With much reluctance, I kneeled down beside the boy and listened for any sound of breathing. I felt relief wash over me when I heard soft yet unstable breaths. Then, I just realized, he looked kind of cute when he was asleep or in this case, unconscious.

Suddenly, it hit me. "Baka!" I exclaimed, scolding myself, " you do NOT think he's cute. You are being possessed by some unknown force that's why you're thinking that way. Come on! Fight it! But, he **does **look kind of cute with the setting sun shining down his face even with that blood pooling around his head. It kind of reminds me of an angel… Oh no! Here you go again… Fight it, Sanzo!"

My thoughts were interrupted by a soft moan escaping the brunette's lips. I sighed. 'What do I do now…' I thought, weighing the possibilities. Well, I could either a. just go home and try to forget all about this though I knew his conscience wouldn't let home, not forgetting the fact that's inhumane, sort of, or b. take the baka home or something.

After much deliberation, I decided to enter door B. Though the former seemed what I would usually do, I knew I couldn't just leave the boy alone. After all, it was because of MY carelessness that almost killed the brunette. And as much as I hate it, I have to take responsibility for it. It was only fortunate that I was only driving at around 30 kph. when I had hit him, or else he really would've been killed. And besides, what if someone had seen me hit him then just leave him alone, then I'm definitely liable not only for being guilty of hitting him, accident it may be, but also of not even helping him. Plus, I sort of owed him for helping me on my first day in school when he helped me to the nurse's office after being treated like shit by some dumb ass bully. (A/N: First chapter)

And as much as I hate to admit it, a part of me really just cares for him. He was bleeding for crying out loud, who wouldn't be concerned? Wait, did I just say I'm giving a damn about this boy? Hell no! Snap out of this Sanzo! I'm only doing this because I do not want to be responsible. That's it, no more, no less! Note to self, once you get home, drown yourself with coffee to clear these delirious thoughts you're having.

'I've got not choice then,' I thought with much irritation. I scooped the unconscious boy into my arms, almost faltering at his surprising weight. "Damn you're heavier than you look," I muttered. Balancing myself, I carried him to my car and gently laid him down in the backseat.

I got into the driver's seat and I started the engine. As I did, my eyes wandered to the rearview mirror and my gaze landed on his frail form. I felt a smile tugging at my lips but my façade would not allow it, though I knew fully well no one was watching and it was safe to drop my mask. Shaking my head of my thoughts, I made my way out of the school parking lot. Then suddenly it dawned to me.

"Damn it," I cursed. I didn't know where Goku lived.

Gojyo's POV

I lay on my bed, gazing at the ceiling of my bedroom. Tired of the same plain white that I've been staring for quite a while now, I rolled over to my side, my eyes landing on a piece of paper lying on top of a white envelope on my bedside table. I reached out for it, reading it for the nth time today.

_Dear Gojyo, _

_I know these kind of letters usually start with "I've always watched you, secretly from afar…" and is filled with all those all too mushy stale lines. And believe me, I know what I'm talking about. Personally, though I find it cliched, not to mention used and even overused. Since, technically, love letters are supposed to be the kind of letters in which you pour out what you really feel for a person, I'm going to do just that, except I'm doing it my way._

_Sha Gojyo, it's been quite a while since I had found myself getting drawn to you. I myself don't even know why I am attracted to you. Maybe it's because I yearned for a life like yours, so carefree and laid-back. Or maybe it's because I just needed someone to love me and help me carry the burdens on my shoulders. I myself am uncertain. All I know for sure is that, every time I'm near you, I'd feel my heart start racing. Not only that but you'd always leave me out of breath and my cheeks as red as your crimson locks that make you stand out in a crowd. At first, I dismissed this only as a mere infatuation, nothing more than a trivial case of "puppy love" or as some would like to say. So I tried forgetting about it and about you. I tired immersing myself in my studies, hoping that maybe Newton's Laws of Motion would drown my mind and its thoughts revolving around you. But I found that, the more I try to resist this feeling, the more it grew deeper and the more I tried to deny and disillusion myself, the more it hurt me. And honestly, I cannot take the pain anymore, Gojyo. That's why I'm telling you all this. I don't really expect you to understand, nor do I expect you to return these feelings of mine. I guess you can say that all I wanted is to get things over with and just tell you how I really feel. Though I don't expect a miracle to happen, I do hope that someday, I'll have enough courage to walk up to you and tell you that it was I who address this letter to you. And maybe, just maybe, you'll be able to make some room for me in your heart._

_With much love,_

_Your Secret Admirer_

I sighed. After a few moments of silence, I pulled myself into a sitting position and reached for my cordless phone that I had carelessly left on the floor beside my bed. As I got ready to punch in the telephone number I had in mind, I hesitated.

'Should I really do this…?' I asked myself.

Sanzo's POV

I parked the car and turned off the engine. As I got out of the driver's seat, I noticed the dark clouds looming above in the reddening sky.

"Shit…" I cursed, under my breath. It was probably going to rain tonight and heaven knows I hate the rain. I bet the gods must be trying to torment me or something like that.

"Go ahead and enjoy yourselves while you can, you idiots!" I muttered, "then we'll see who's laughing then…"

"Sanzo…"

I turned my attention to the occupant at the backseat. I shook my head in frustration. I was extremely hoping he was awake so that I wouldn't have to carry him again but it looks like he was just talking in his sleep.

"Baka saru…" I grumbled, taking the boy into my arms, again almost falling from the weight, "you owe me big time for this…"

I carried the heavy lad, encountering no problem at all. That is until I reached the front door that is. "Damn it…"

How was I supposed to open the damned door? Seeing no other way, I pushed Goku's weight against the front door, hoping it would provide enough leverage for me to at least fish out my house keys and open the door. I carefully withdrew my right hand which was supporting Goku's legs, but before I can even slip my hand into my pocket, my left arm started growing wearing because of the weight and Goku was starting to slip. So I did the first thing that came into my mind. I brought up my right thigh hoping it would support Goku's weight. Wrong move, because it seemed that, due to Goku slipping down a few moments ago, I had miscalculated and instead of my thigh supporting Goku's legs like I thought it would, it landed right under Goku's behind. I pushed up my thigh, all the while cursing the gods for placing me in this situation, propping Goku into place so that he would not fall or slip again. (1)

'Come on Sanzo…' I told myself, 'the sooner you find the damn keys and open the door, the sooner you'll get out of this compromising position of yours.'

I immediately fished for my house keys and as I was about to open the door, Goku had fidgeted causing his right arm to slip down from his chest when it had been previously resting and was now swaying limply, lightly brushing against my inner thigh.

I suppressed a moan that was threatening to escape my lips and hurriedly unlocked the front door. I immediately slipped back my keys into my pocket, replaced my propped leg with my right arm and let myself into my house, thankful that I had gotten out of that compromising situation alive.

Hakkai's POV

I was reading one of my favorite books, "The Da Vinci Code"(2), for the nth time. It was really amazing how this writer can write in such a way that he bends the facts and yet, his version of it seems more believable than the truth can and will ever be. I was on the part when the main character was at Galileo's grave and was piecing the riddle together when a shrill ring from the telephone pulled me out of the depths of my imagination.

I inserted my bookmark on the page I was at and answered the phone. "Hello, good evening. Hakkai speaking," I said almost automatically.

"Hello Hakkai…" a quiet voice came form the other line.

"Gojyo?"

"Yeah, its me… Umm… Do you mind if we talk…?"

" Well, we're talking now…"

"I mean, like personally, you know. It's sort of important."

"Now?"

"Yeah, if it's not much of a hassle…" his voice trailed off.

"Uh… Sure! How about at the park near the school? Is that okay with you?"

"It's fine… Thanks Hakkai… I'll see you there in 15 minutes…"

"See you… Good-bye…" And with that Gojyo had put down the phone, ending our conversation. Gojyo seemed rather troubled. 'I wonder what this is about,' I pondered, 'well, I better go then…'

I grabbed my jacket and my house keys then headed out the front door. As I walked along the sidewalk, the dark night only illuminated by the flickering glow of street lamps, I felt a cold wind breezing past. I shivered and hugged myself, my jacket providing only little warmth.

'How'd I wish there was someone to hold me in cold nights like these…' I mused, 'then again, there's only one person in this world who I wish would hug me and offer me warmth…'

I smiled at that though and imagined the man of my affection, the foul-mouthed man that had won my heart, wrapping his tan arms around me, protecting me from the harsh cold, his crimson locks tickling the back of my neck. Just the mere thought of it almost made me feel somewhat warmer. But that's how it'll only ever be. Only in dreams shall he hug me like that. Only in dreams shall he be mine.

Goku's POV

I opened my eyes and instantly, the first thing I noticed was the white ceiling that I was currently staring at. 'When did mom repaint the ceiling of the house?' I wondered, my mind still a bit fuzzy, 'too bad, I liked it better when it was peach…' I brought my hand up to brush away my brown locks when suddenly, I felt something wrapped around my head. I also noticed this on my right wrist. "What the-? Bandages?" (3)

My eyes traveled across the room I was in. It was only then that I realized that not only was the ceiling a different color, the entire house looked different. It was sparsely furnished and most of the furniture was white which was a great contrast to the colorful chattels that adorned our home. I tried to ease myself into a comfortable sitting position to get a better view of the place where I was, ignoring how sore I was all over.

"What happened here? Where am I?" I wondered aloud.

"You're at my house baka…" a voice answered.

I turned to see who it was and almost fell off the couch when I saw that it was none other than Sanzo, emerging from what I think is the kitchen, carrying a mug. Then, I felt my face heat up when I saw his choice of clothing. He was wearing a closed-neck, black spandex sleeveless leather shirt that showed off his well-toned abs and muscles, and baggy khaki pants that only came down to until below his knees, revealing much off his pale, porcelain skin. (4)

I gulped, trying hard not to drool. He must've noticed my excessive staring for at the next moment, I felt something hard hit me on my head.

"Itai…" I yelped, nursing the forming lump on my head. "What did you do that for?" I demanded, glaring at the said blond.

"You were looking at me as if you were ready to pounce, saru!" He retorted, taking a seat at one of the armchairs beside the couch.

"Not that I wouldn't mind pouncing at you and pinning you down in the bed or at the floor…" I muttered, my mind filling up with all sorts of mental images.

"Hmmm…?"

"Uh, nothing, Sanzo!" I exclaimed, hoping he did not hear what I just said.

For a while, there was a taut silence between us. I would look at Sanzo, then quickly direct my gaze to the floor when he would turn his eyes to me. "Uh… Sanzo?" I began.

He said nothing so I took it as a sign to continue. "Do you mind telling me why I'm here in your house?" I inquired, not that I minded of course, though I'd rather be with him on his bed in his bedroom… Ah! Bad thoughts! Bad thoughts, Goku!

"Don't you remember?" he asked, sounding slightly surprised, though his face not showing it even at the slightest

"Ummm… no?" I answered sheepishly.

"Baka saru," he remarked, venom lacing into those two words, before taking a sip from his mug.

His insult stung, but I tried my best not to show it. Damn, I know he's insulted me lots of times but I till find that every time he did, it would hurt more and more at each offense. Maybe if he meant nothing to me, if I did not love him this much, it wouldn't hurt as bad as it does now.

"You were hit by a car, for your information…" he stated, breaking my train of thought.

Suddenly I remembered. Yes, I came from another horrifying detention with Homura practically molesting me in public. Then, I rushed out of the main building only to be hit by a car. But something was not right here, something was amiss.

"Why?" I blurted out.

"Why what?" Sanzo asked, his tone still as icy and as cold as ever.

"Why did you help me? I mean, I know I was hit by a car but what did you have to do with it? " I said in a rush. These questions lingered in my mind. Maybe he did care about me only he's afraid to show it. Maybe he's not as cold hearted as he seems to be. Maybe…

"I only picked you up because you were such an eye sore, laying there sprawled across the ground, your blood staining the concrete," he retorted, interrupting my musings. "Not to mention, you were blocking the middle of the road and I wouldn't able to get home without my car trampling over you in the process. So don't you ever stop and consider that I helped you because I cared or felt sorry for you." He paused. "Wait let me rephrase that," he added, "don't you ever stop to consider that I picked you up because I felt any compassion for someone like you."

At that moment, I felt as if a dagger had pierced my heart. I could feel myself shaking and tears were threatening to fall. I tried controlling myself. I tried mustering up another one of my fake smiles that people so often see, only failing miserably. But this time, it had hit too deep.

"If you hate me that much, then you shouldn't have just helped me at all," I exclaimed, my gaze intent on the amethyst eyed man before me, tears now freely running down my cheeks.

"Goku…" I heard him whisper, surprised, standing up and taking a step towards me.

"Leave me alone," I exclaimed, standing up, backing away from him. And then I fled, I ran out of the front door, ignoring his calls, ignoring the rain that is slowly pouring down the city. So be it, if he made it clear that he hated me. I give up. I have no more reason to love him.

TBC

(1) Did you get that? Or was it too vague?

Not mine. Great book though.

As for the accident, I am not too sure about what injuries you'll sustain. But remember, Goku was running when he was hit by a car that was **under **the speed limit. So I figured, since he was on a side position, he would be hit, land a few feet behind. His head would probably hit the pavement first, followed by his wrist/arm(because he was in a side position), then his body. Thus, I conclude that his head and wrist/arm would most likely have the most serious injury. If you want to prove me wrong, try getting hit by a car under the same circumstances first before contracting me. Joke! Anyway, I tried my best to make it as believable as possible. If anything about the accident part seems wrong, tell me, okay?

A/N: Okay, the last part was… crappy. I wrote it all in a rush actually. I hope it's still okay. I hope it made up for the crappier 4th chapter. The next chapter will be the last, btw. Happy holidays!


	6. Karma

**Warnings: **Yaoi, 39, 85 ( - if you're not comfortable with this, turn back now. I will not be held responsible if I will somehow traumatize you or something. You have been warned!), Rated for language, Character OOC

**A/N:** Yay! Perfect NOT is almost done! So far, I'm quite happy with how the story has been progressing. Btw, sorry for the late update… I was kinda lazy to do this since I wrote down practically half of it (about 5-6 pages), then my dad deleted it without my knowledge or prior notice. I got so irritated that I started procrastinating. Anyways, sorry for the long wait, guys!

My reply to the reviewers:

**Sorceress Sakura:** Don't worry…. I don't intend on leaving this fic incomplete…

**Mr.Giggles:** I know! Cruelty indeed! And Sanzo's a meanie… when isn't he a meanie? hehehe

**YJ:** last chappie coming up!

**Darkabaddon:** sorry… no lemon… as much as I would love to add a lemon… I don't want this fic to be deleted or something like that because of it…

**BlaCkFaia-Neko:** Pilipino ka rin? Wow! Small world lang pala…. hahaha

**Kiarah:** I'm flattered… hehehe…

**Lost little girl:** All those questions will be answered in this chappie… sorry for leaving you hanging…

**Allie-chan:** Oh, Gojyo is OOC? Well, I'll try to fix it in this chappie, okay? Thank you very much for the review!

**XXxYuUrAnXxX:** Thanks!

**MasQu3raiN:** Thank you, and you'll be automatically alerted by FF. Net if I update seeing as you have me on your Author Alert. Thanks for adding me, btw.

**KotoJuri:** Happy holidays too!

**Airashal moon:** Poor everyone indeed…

**Nored:** Well, the answer to your question will be found in this chappie. Thank you!

**Kaede11:** Yeah, Sanzo does deserve to be punished. But as evil as he is, I can never punish my beloved Sanzo.

**Crazy-Silly-Me:** Finally! They're finally in character! That's all I can say…

**Cheerful angel57:** Thanks! Happy holidays too!

**Chobit00:** Er… I still hope you have happy holidays despite the turnout of the last chappie.

**Destiny852:** Thank you so much! And yeah, cold-hearted-ness forever!

**Dragon-affinity:** Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!

**Akito-kun:** Yeah… there're a lot of fics with Goku running into the rain and stuff… its kinda cliched… I know… but it sorta fits in the situation… but I'll try to make that scene interesting, kay?

**Sakura Blosson-Cilla-85:** Yeah, poor him…

**Komoyo Minku:** Actually, when I emailed you, I was already halfway done. So I only had another half to go which I surprisingly happened to have been able to write quite quickly…

**C.T Saiyukily Twisted:** I'm sorry! Was the last chappie that horrible? Don't worry, I'll make the ending happy this time… or amybe not… lol joke! I could never do that! I'm a sucker for "happily ever after's" even if they're nothing more than fairy tales… (We can never have a total "happily ever after" in real life… or so I think…)

**Disclaimie: **If I was that rich I would've owned them by now… lol... but I'm can't be considered rich… yet…

Wow, that's more reviews than usual! Thanks guys! Now, enough dilly-dally, on to the fic!

* * *

**Karma **

By: dream-eater-is-hungry

**Sanzo's POV**

The city was bathed in a multitude of colors. The rain, blending perfectly well with the night-lights that illuminated Kyoto, had created a sort of rainbow in the night sky. The soft pitter-patters of the raindrops were heard, along with the steady splashes of water as I ran across the wet pavement, drenched and cold to the bone. Usually, I would avoid being out on nights like these. I hated rainy nights. It brought too much bitter memories that I do not care to talk about. I bet those old fools up in oh-so-sunny heaven must be laughing their asses at me right now. Let them laugh all they want. I hope they laugh so hard they'll die from it. Screw them. Right now, I have more important things to worry about, like Goku, for instance.

"Damn it," I cursed, "where could he have gone?" 

You must be wondering, why the fuck am I looking for him? I mean, I am a heartless bastard who is cared by no one and cares for no one as well. After all, I've survived with this attitude for who know how long and so far so good, so why stop now?

To tell you the truth, I don't exactly know why the fucking hell am I doing this? I mean I could be sitting comfortably in my home, sipping a nice hot cup of coffee while reading the newspaper or something like that. And yet, despite the heavier weight of the pros that the latter held, I still refused the offer. I guess you can say, I felt guil- a pang of self-reproach, when I saw the first few tears that fell from Goku's chocolate orbs. I hated it. I hated that stupid feeling. I'm not supposed to feel anything. Happiness. Regret. Sadness. Pain. Nothing at all. Self- reproach included. I'm supposed to have mastered the art of indifference and apathy, and yet there's this stupid feeling in the pit of my stomach. And for some bizarre reason, I knew that this feeling of self-reproach will continue to haunt me, unless I make things right.

Wait; did I just say all that emotional crap? Damn the rain for fucking up my mind.

**Gojyo's POV**

I gazed at the beautiful night sky, enjoying the cold breeze that would send my red hair dancing. 'It's about to rain…' I mused, resting my left arm on the backrest of the bench I was sitting on.

Yet the thought of rain didn't seem to bother me at all. In fact, I could care less about the rain, or anything at all. Right now, I just want to get this over with. I reached for the envelope in the back pocket of my jeans. Staring for it for the nth time today, only one thought had occupied my mind.

'There's no turning back now…'

**Hakkai's POV**

As I approached the park, my once steady heartbeat started to pick up its pace. I took a deep breath, hoping it would calm my nerves. On almost any other occasion, it would've easily pacified me and appeased my anxiety. It would soothe me and bring the necessary clarity to my mind to be able take control of the situation and like clay, manipulate it to create the outcome that I want. Unfortunately, I had a feeling that tonight didn't fit the category of "on almost any other occasion".

Hugging my sweater closer to myself, I made my way inside the park. After wandering around, lost in my thoughts, I spotted a familiar mop of red hair, swaying with the soft breeze, on one of the wooden benches a short distance away. For a moment, the scene in front of me seemed to mesmerize me. It was as if a multitude of bloodied cherry blossoms were dancing and playing like the air nymphs you read about in folklore and fairy tales.

Part of me wished I could just stand there the entire evening and just watch the beautiful display in front of me. But as much as I wanted to, I didn't come here to just watch a show and enjoy myself. Gojyo said he wanted to talk to me. And by the tone of his voice over the telephone earlier this evening, it seemed like it was something of great importance.

Gracing a small smile onto my lips, I made my way over to Gojyo. "Hey, you said you wanted to talk to me?" I said, greeting my companion.

"Hakkai!" Gojyo exclaimed, jumping in his seat, obviously surprised by my presence, "how long have you been standing there?"

I held up five fingers for Gojyo to see. "Oh, about five seconds…" I replied, keeping a cheerful disposition. "I hope you didn't wait too long…" I added, my smile faltering ever so slightly at the thought that I made Gojyo wait, when in fact, I was standing there behind him doing nothing but wasting his time staring at him.

"No… not really…" Gojyo replied quietly, looking down, his mood quite contrary to the temperament I'm displaying. I sighed. No use trying to cheer things up with smiles, Hakkai.

I took a seat next to Gojyo and contented myself to staring at a tree a few feet away from us. For a while, neither of us said anything. Only the sound of breathing and the occasional whistles that the soft breeze made were heard.

Growing tired of the view that I had been busying myself with for the past few minutes, I turned my attention to Gojyo. It was only then that I noticed a some sort of white thing peeking out of Gojyo's right hand, which was resting a few millimeters apart from his right thigh where his arm was also lazily laying. (1) It looked familiar… What was it?

It seemed that I was gaping at it for so longer than I had realized, trying to figure out why it had seemed so familiar, that Gojyo was now staring me. "Hakkai?" he called, waving his hand in front of my face.

I jumped, having been snapped out of my trance. "Sorry," I replied sheepishly, "I was looking at the white thing you were holding. Who knew such an ordinary thing can be such an attention grabber?" I joked.

I can't help but smile when Gojyo gave out a quiet chuckle. "To tell you the truth," he started, "this is what I wanted to talk to you about."

"Oh?" I asked, raising an eyebrow, "what about it?"

"Here, I think it'll be better if you read it first…" he suggested, holding out the white thing or rather, a white envelope, to me.

At that moment, time seemed to stop. As I fixed my eyes on the envelope, I now realize why it had looked so familiar. Sure, it was just a plain white ordinary envelope. There was tons of it in the world! But that envelope, the plain white one with Gojyo's name scripted neatly on the front… It was no ordinary envelope… it was my love letter that had been missing!

I took the envelope from Gojyo, my hands shaking uncontrollably. I opened it and proceeded to read its familiar contents. Feigning a smile, I laid the letter onto my lap and turned to Gojyo.

"Well, it's clearly a love letter" I stated, forcing some cheer into my voice, "I'm sure you get tons of those, considering how you and Goku are such heartthrobs in school. So what about it? Anything peculiar about this particular letter?"

I turned to Gojyo, waiting for an answer. Minutes ticked by, but no answer has been given. If I hadn't known better, Gojyo was staring off to space and haven't heard a single word that I've said. Just as I was about to break his silent trance, he spoke.

"Ever heard of the quote: Don't judge a book by its cover, Hakkai?" He asked nonchalantly.

"Yes, what about it?" I replied.

"If there was one quote, that would most apply to my life, it would be that one…" he explained.

"Why so?" I questioned, curious by his answer.

Looking up, he closed his eyes and gave a deep breath. "I never got any up until now…" he stated randomly, "A love letter I mean. I never really got one until this one…"

**Gojyo's POV**

"I never really got one until this one…" I admitted.

Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Hakkai gape at surprise. Figures. Everyone thinks that just because you're a heartthrob with many girls adoring you, doesn't mean you'd get millions or even more, love letters each declaring their undying love for you. Nope. That's actually why the latter quote fits my life oh-so perfectly. Everyone always thinks. They always assume this and that just because of my outward appearance or social standing in school. Just like what Hakkai did just then. He assumed that I receive tons of love letters because I'm a heartthrob when in fact, it was the complete opposite. Sure, I do receive a lot of fan mail filled with lines about how I look so handsome and how they love me and all. I don't know about you, but that is not a love letter… Heck, they don't really mean it when they say they love me. It's nothing more than just a harmless crush easily mistaken for love.

Whoa, did I just say all that deep stuff? I guess Hakkai must be rubbing onto me…

"All the notes I've receive are always full of praises about me and my looks…" I continued, "all of them telling me how handsome I am and how I'm their Prince Charming… Those aren't love letters… After all, all those compliments come from the fact that they have a crush on me…" "They all say they love me… when it's nothing more than just a mere crush…" I whispered.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Hakkai looking at me at astonishment. Chuckling at his reaction, I asked: "Are you shocked by the fact I just sounded like an old Buddhist monk speaking of a profound truth, or maybe just by this new revelation about me."

"Both!" he exclaimed.

I laughed at his answer. "Hey, like I said before: Never judge a book by its cover," I replied, giving him a smile.

After a while, my laughter was soon lost in the silence of the night. "So, what am I going to do, Hakkai?" I asked, my voice barely audible, "like I said, I never got a love letter before. What will I do?"

"Well," Hakkai started, hesitant to answer, "I guess you've got to tell that person how you feel…"

"Oh…" I commented, "But what if, I already like someone else…? Should I just turn her down? After all, she did confess to me his feelings and they sound true. And I may be a womanizer, but I'm not the type who enjoys breaking the hearts of women you know..."

**Hakkai's POV**

At that moment, I felt it was as if my heart just shattered into a million pieces. 'I guess it was too late then,' I thought forlornly, 'he already likes someone else…'

Who was I kidding? It was pure stupidity to even think that there was even a slight possibility that he'll like me. Who was I to think that Sha Gojyo would ever like me, Cho Hakkai? That's a laugh. I guess you can say, it was just never meant to be…

"I see…" I replied, my voice somewhat cracking from the sorrow of rejection, "If that's the case, you better just tell her the whole truth. She may love you, but what can she do if you already love another? After all, no one can ever control how you feel. You are the only one who decides whom you want to love."

"I guess…" he whispered.

Moments have passed with silence accompanying us. Worried that I might break down in front of Gojyo any minute now, I stood up and prepared to leave. "I better go, Gojyo. It's pretty late and I still have some school work that I have to finish. I hope I was of help to you." I said all in a rush, my back turned against Gojyo as I tried to control the tears that were slowly threatening to fall.

"Wait," he exclaimed, grabbing my arm. "Before you go," he whispered, "I have something important to tell you…"

Part of me wanted to just brush Gojyo off and tell him to just leave me alone. Couldn't he see that I wanted to leave? But despite this, I knew it would hurt me, more than it would to him if I do that. Making up my mind, I took a deep breath and composed myself.

"What is it then?" I asked, hiding the obvious sadness and irritation in my voice.

"I just wanted you to know…" he whispered, "the person that I like… it's not a she, Hakkai…"

**Gojyo's POV**

"You're the only one who controls you heart…" Hakkai answered.

"I see…" I said, my voice barely audible.

After that, silence dawned upon us yet again. But its steady trance was soon broken by Hakkai who abruptly stood up and from the looks of it, is about to leave.

"I better go, Gojyo. It's pretty late and I still have some school work that I have to finish. I hope I was of help to you," he said hurriedly.

At this, I panicked. 'Shit. He can't leave yet!' I thought, 'No he mustn't leave until I tell him.'

Suddenly, in a desperate attempt to stop him, I grabbed his arm. "Wait!"

Shit, what will I tell him? Fuck. Maybe I should tell him now? Should I? It's not exactly how I imagined my confession to be… I was thinking something more romantic and fitting you know! This is not turning out the way I always thought it would be but what other fucking choice do I have! Its really now or never. I guess there's no turning back now, Gojyo. You can do this.

"Before you go," I started, "I have something important to tell you…"

Hakkai seemed to consider this and after a moment's hesitation, he spoke up. "What is it?" he asked, a small tint of annoyance in his voice.

"I just wanted you to know," I said, my voice reduced to but a mere whisper, the person that I like… it's not a she, Hakkai…"

Hakkai stiffened at this statement. I let go of Hakkai's arm and stood up. "I'm really sorry if I wasted your time… calling you over here tonight and all. But before you go, I want you to meet this person you know."

"So where is he then?" Hakkai said, his voice quivering.

I took a deep breath. This is it. I opened my mouth to answer him, just as the first few drops of rain finally began to fall down onto the earth. "He's standing right here beside me…"

**Goku's POV**

I was hungry, cold and tired from running and yet I still continued to push myself to the limit, letting my legs take me to God-who-knows-where. But to tell you the truth, it doesn't really matter that much to me where I'm whisked off to. May it be heaven, hell or even to the next city for all I care. Heck, I don't even mind being run over by car right now or something like that. After all, I'm sure no one would miss me if I died. I wouldn't even be surprised if everyone would be happier once I'm gone. Everyone especially Sanzo.

Yeah, that foul-mouthed cold hearted blond that I just happened to fall in love with. I'd bet you all my family fortune that he'd even be thankful that I was wiped out from the living world. Fuck him. I wish I never fell in love with him. And then maybe, it wouldn't hurt this much.

Blinded by the never ending tears, I tripped, not noticing a crack in the pavement. My head wound bled, having been reopened when it collided with the cold cement. I tried pulling myself from the ground but it proved useless for my wrist wasn't able to withstand my weight it, having been injured and I once again met rear-end with the pavement.

I stayed there, having no more energy or enough will power to pull myself back together, not caring a damn if I got sick tomorrow. I just wished that lightning would strike me and take my life, or if the gods would 'generously spare my damned life', then at least I hope they'd be kind enough to give me amnesia and then maybe, I'd forget about all those harsh things Sanzo told me. Not only that, I'd also forget that I've fallen in love with him in the first place.

**Sanzo's POV**

"Fuck. Where is he?" I cursed under my breath.

God I really screwed up this time. I screwed up really bad. I always knew my smart ass mouth and my fucking pride would get me into trouble. Heck, I almost got beaten up because of it(2) but did it take the hint? No.

Just as I thought I would never find Goku, I saw a figure sprawled on the pavement a short distance away. Even though it was raining really hard and it was hard to see through the rain, I immediately recognized those distinct chocolate locks.

"Goku!" I exclaimed, running towards his shivering form.

As I got closer to him, I noticed that he was bleeding again. "Kuso…" I cursed.

Not wasting any time, I locked my arms together around his small yet built form and under his armpits pull him up.

"Let me go…" he whispered.

"No," I answered, "we've got to get you out of the rain or else you might get sick."

"Why would you care?" he spat, venom lacing his every word, "after all, you never gave a damn to me before so why start now? Feeling guilty you hurt my feelings? Whatever. Nothing you do now can ever change the past."

I was taken aback, not to mention hurt by his words. It felt as if a dagger had just been stabbed into my heart. It seemed as if the places were switches. It had been almost been past an hour that Sanzo had done the exact same thing to Goku in his house causing the youth to run off crying. And now, here they were, out in the rain, to what seems to be a déjà vu except this time, it was Goku not Sanzo, whose mouth were spitting words of venom.

I felt my arms go limp as those words echoed around my head. 'Is this how it feels…? Is this how Goku felt…?'

I looked up and faced Goku who was now standing well without my help. "Now you know how it feels like don't you," he whispered, "to be hurt? Feels painful right?" Goku looked up into the night sky, letting the rain fall onto his face. "And to think just a few hours ago, it was you speaking those exact same words… karma I guess…"

"Goku I'm really sor—," I started, this time, really meaning every word I said.

"Save it…" Goku interrupted, "I don't need your stupid apologies… I'm only sorry that I fell in love with you in the first place."

* * *

(1)His sitting position is similar to how guys you often see sit. You know, leaning down their seat further than usual with one arm on the backrest of the chair, couch, whatever; their legs, slightly apart; their other arm, resting lazily on their thigh with their hand only a few centimeters away from the inner thigh.

(2) Remember chapter 1? When Sanzo got beaten up by a bully?

Wow, it was a bit longer than I expected. Apparently, it's not the ending… yet. I apologize that this chappie is 58 centric but I needed a good ending for them too right? And besides, save the best for last so please don't be too mad at me… the last chapter will be filled with 39 to make it all up to you okay? btw, is it just me or does anyone else think that Gojyo's and Sanzo's last POV is rushed? I feel as if it lacks description and all that… okay, I'm starting to hate this chapter again…


	7. Burning On

**Warnings: **Yaoi, 39, 85, HomuraxGoku ( - if you're not comfortable with this, turn back now. I will not be held responsible if I will somehow traumatize you or something. You have been warned!), Rated for language, Character OOC, lemon implications…

**Disclaimie: **If I was that rich I would've owned them by now… lol... but I can't be considered rich… yet… (Note the yet☺)

**Epilogue: Burning On**

By: dream-eater-is-hungry

**Sanzo's POV**

"I'm only sorry that I loved you in the first place…"

As those words resonated in my head, I felt as if I've been punched in the stomach. Except, it didn't hurt. Correction, it did not hurt my abdomen. Rather the pain, the ache… it was all focused in my chest. As I opened my eyes, I was met by the sight of the immaculate white ceiling of my apartment. I sighed deeply, bringing up my arm to rest upon my forehead, trying to block out the oh-so-giddy rays of the god damn morning sun.

'Damn, I hate mornings,' I thought, irritated. I never was a morning person. Never was and never will. 'Especially those mornings after that stupid dream,' I added as an afterthought.

I closed my eyes, watching in my mind's eye, each moment played in synchronized perfection. It had been, what, about four years now, and yet the memory is still as fresh as that night. The rain, his face, his tears, all of it, haunting me relentlessly in the realm of dreams by night and in the sea of musings on the remaining hours of the day. It was as if the stupid gods up there in their high up thrones had placed a curse on me, so that I'd be unable to just forget it all. Fuck them.

I shook my head in exasperation, hoping to wipe out any trace of sleep or that dream in my mind. Screw this. I glanced at my bedside table, when my alarm clock stood.

'6:42', it read.

'Eighteen more minutes to kill before that damned thing would screech its gears out.' I realized with irony at how, I never liked mornings and yet, I always manage to wake up at such ungodly hours.

Running one of hands into my golden locks, I pulled myself into an upright position. I swung my legs over the side and stood up, heading to the adjoining bathroom. Hopefully, a nice hot shower would numb my thoughts.

I stripped off my boxers and stepped unto the cold tiles of my wash. Turning the stainless knob, giving off my distorted reflection on its smooth surface, I closed my eyes, surrendering myself to my thoughts as the warm water cascaded down my taunt body.

In my thoughts, I saw him just as he was that night. When I found him, he was sprawled all over the ground, his wounds having reopened again. He was drenched from the rain, we both were. I distinctly remember how he looked like that night. His chocolate locks had stuck to his forehead, water mixing with blood from his head wound dancing down his to the tips of his hair, making them look like long tresses of that of a woman. The usual golden orbs that radiated happiness were filled with bitterness and pain, hiding beneath anger. Our high school uniform, which had stuck to his body like second skin, distinctly reminded of when one wears leather. Yes, he was at his worst at that night, though not only him, but also our terms with each other. But I never expected that, that would be the last time I'd ever really see him then.

After that incident, he had his entire schedule redone and had all his classes switched, courtesy of his fucked up rich parents of course. He had himself completely isolated from me. Though, he was still the top of the class, and never failed to win every game they had, when you'd see him smile, it wasn't the one you'd used to see him wearing. When he'd spare grin, you'd feel nothing but sadness emanating from his cold lifeless eyes. The old Goku had gone that night. Now all he was but a shell of his former self that had been long lost.

When Gojyo saw this radical change in Goku, he immediately blamed me, even though Goku didn't say a word to him. I hate to admit it but the fucking red-head was no fool. He knew that underneath his smiling mask, was his friend, crying silent tears.

I clenched my fist and punched the wall in my frustration. That night, four years ago, it could've ended another way. The choice was there standing in front of me, yet I still decided to turn my back to it.

I heaved a long aggravated sigh, before opening my eyes just as the damn alarm clock started screaming its gears out. I grabbed my towel and tied it around my waist. Small puddles had formed on my bedroom floor as I headed towards my bedside table, got the alarm clock and threw it on the floor.

"Shut up…" I grunted at my broken clock.

I dried myself off and dressed in my usual casual tight jeans with a form fitting white collared shirt that I only buttoned up until mid-chest. I took out my choker with a silver crucifix from my bedside drawer along with my silver thumb ring and put them on. I went back into the bathroom and checked my reflection over.

"That should get the professors into a fit…" I thought, smirking at myself, "like always…"

I grabbed my leather attaché case1 and my electric organizer before leaving my room and into the kitchen. I sat down, taking out my reading glasses as I proceeded to read the morning paper.

"Good morning!" a cheery voice greeted me, accompanied by the aroma of French toast and black coffee wafting inside the kitchen.

"There's nothing good about the mornings, Hakkai," I grunted, not even bothering to look up from the newspaper.

He chuckled in reply. "You do realize that the professors will reprimand you again for going against the dress code. The professors in Takaoka Hoka Daigaku 2 are especially strict you know. Even if your uncle Komyou once studied there, they aren't going to give you any considerations just because you're the nephew of their colleague." he stated, putting down my breakfast in front of me.

"Who cares? Those old buffoons are nothing but pains up my ass," I remarked, turning the page.

"Well, you are taking up law you know," he replied, "in a way, you're supposed to be following rules, not breaking them."

"Ch," I grunted, "whatever."

For a while, silence had taken over our conversation. Except for my occasional shuffling of the pages, all was quiet.

Looking up, I saw Hakkai sitting across form me, smiling giddily like that of a child who just received a new toy from his mother, his cheek rested against the palm of his hand.

"What is it?" I asked, irritated, "I know you didn't come here just to make me breakfast, spit it out."

"You're right," he answered, ignoring my rudeness, his lips still sporting a smile, "I came here to tell you... that well…" He chuckled, scratching the back of his head, apparently not knowing how to say whatever he was saying to me.

"He has another game tonight hasn't he?" I demanded, making certain not to say his name, "is that it?"

"Well, technically…" he replied, chuckling, "yeah. You should come you know…"

"Why bother…" I retorted, "I'd be wasting my time going all the way to Sendai City just to see him after I'd made clear four years ago that I wanted nothing to do with him…"

"But you should at least…" he tried to reason.

"Don't even try Hakkai," I retorted, cutting him off, my voice sounding colder than usual, "Because you'll just be wasting your breath, so do us both a favor and just shut up."

Hakkai sighed in defeat, knowing full well that I wasn't about to change my mind. He stood up, took something out of his pocket and placed on the table. "In case you change your mind," he stated, his tone, hard and cold, "Now, if you excuse me, I'm late for my class."

At the corner of my eye, I saw his take his folded med coat 3 and walk out the door. As soon as he had left, I turned my gaze to the ticket that he had left for me.

"Humph."

I took it and stuffed it into my bag, along with the many previous others that I had accumulated, courtesy of Hakkai, not even sparing it a second glance.

I sipped my coffee, thinking back to what I've said.

"_Why bother…" I retorted, "I'd be wasting my time going all the way to Sendai City just to see him after I'd made clear four years ago that I wanted nothing to do with him…"_

That's what I had told Hakkai, that it was but a waste of time to go all the way to Sendai City just to see some stupid basketball game. But was that really the reason why I didn't go? Or was it really that I didn't want to go and see him again? Was it because I don't think I can stand it, seeing him and as if reliving those days back in our senior years when he completely shunned me away and instead, threw his affections away to that horny as hell Homura who didn't even fucking deserve a single drop of his attention?

Damn. I hate it when I get so… reflective.

**Goku's POV**

Pride. One of the causes of Adam and Eve's downfall. Their conceited souls had lead them to believe that eating the apple from the Tree of All Knowledge of Good and Evil, would give them wisdom equaling to that of God's, yet in the end, their desire had backfired on them, leading to their own banishment. What a horrible thing. Yet, it was it that stopped you, wasn't it, ne? Your pride I mean. It had you wear your cold, unfeeling mask, for you to hide behind. And as time passed, you too, became just like the façade that you carried, void of any emotion. I thought at first that maybe on day, I'll be able to see the real man behind the disguise. But I was foolish, foolish enough to believe in such nonsense. I should've seen it coming. I should've seen that I was no match for your inflated ego, Sanzo.

I pressed my forehead against the window glass, watching the morning rain pelting down the city of Sendai. As I gazed blankly at the intricate patterns of the water as it slid down the glass, I closed my eyes, willing my tears to fall, but I couldn't.

'Four years,' I mused, 'for years since that fateful night. Four years since I forgot how to cry.'

Suddenly, I tensed when I felt two arms snaking around my bare waist, pulling lightly from behind.

"There you are…" a low voice murmured in my ear, my cold skin shivering at the warmth of his breath.

"Homura…" I whispered, never quite getting use to his touch, "Did I wake you up?"

"Not really…" he replied, nuzzling the crook of my neck at the same time, lightly running his fingers on my lower abdomen, "though it got a little cold without you…"

I opened my mouth to say something in reply, but instead of words, what came out was a gasp. I threw back my head, moaning in pleasure as Homura stroked me though the fabric of my silk boxers.

"You like that, don't you…?" he purred, his warm tongue lapping on my earlobe.

"Homura…" I moaned, barely able to think of anything coherent, "don't…"

"Aww… why not…" he murmured seductively, running his other hand over my bare chest, moving up to my neck and his fingers tracing my parted lips.

"Come on… I know you want this as much as I do…," came a whisper, a sinuous voice that has enchanted me, many a time before.

"I have a game tonight…" I managed with a hoarse groan, my voice sounding alien to my ears.

"Don't worry…" he reassured me, reaching out to close the window curtains in front of me, "we don't have to go all the way…"

This answer seemed to satisfy me. There was no need to question him. After all, Homura can give me the pleasure that I wanted and sought for, and even more. He can make me forget anything and everything around me. He was the perfect drug, deadly yet at the same time invigorating.

I turned around, and locked my arms around his neck, my golden orbs, looking down, unable to meet his own. Guilt. It has always been like this. Never once, in all our nights of passion play, did guilt never cross my heart. I'm only using Homura, to fill the empty void within my soul, to fill his memory, as his replacement. I knew Homura knew of this, of my selfish intentions. But never did he question me, nor even gave a damn.

I felt him cupping my chin and bring my face up to his gaze. "Tell me…" he murmured, "what do you want…?"

With half-lidded eyes, I replied, "I want you…"

He smirked.

**Sanzo's POV**

I sat in front of my desk, the screen of my laptop, illuminating my dark bedroom. Taking off my reading glasses, I massaged my temples. Glancing at the time on my laptop, I noticed that it was still 5:57p.m.

"The game would be starting right about now," I mused, suddenly thinking about Goku, only to give myself a migraine.

Fuck. I forgot, thinking about him usually end with me having a major headache. I opened my right hand drawer, searching for the aspirins that I stashed there sometime ago. But as luck would've had it, except for a bunch of old grocery receipts, a piece of mint and my missing fountain pen, they was no where to be found. I really don't need this right now. I clenched my fist, taking deep breaths to calm myself down. With an exasperated grunt, I closed my eyes and rested against the back of my arm chair, relishing the comfort it gave to soothe my aching back.

Sighing, I sat up and rummaged around in my bag. From it, I took out, a wad of tickets, basketball tickets. I flipped through them until I found what I was looking for. It was the ticket Hakkai gave me earlier today.

"Tohoku University v.s. Tohoku Fukushi University. Sendai Gymnasium, Sendai City. 6:00p.m. onwards," the ticket read.

Tohoku University in Sendai City. Yeah, that was where Goku studied now. During his senior year, Tohoku University had offered him a chance to be in their basketball team, if he'd decide to attend their school, that is. Seeing as Tohoku University was one of the best universities there was in Japan and heck, even in whole Asia 4, he immediately applied and passed their rumored hard - as - hell entrance examinations. It's no wonder really. He is one of the top students in our senior batch, alongside Hakkai, and that fucking Homura, so it's nothing unusual. Though it was said that, that the only reason why he was offered in the first place was because his father was friends with the school's director. But either way, they couldn't deny that Goku passed the entrance examination with flying colors.

"It's no wonder, he did graduate top of the batch, with not even a B+ tainting his grades…" I mused out loud.

I was abruptly snapped out of the tranquility of my room, when the shrill ring of my cell phone shook me out of my thoughts.

"Damn this thing…" I muttered under my breath, wondering vaguely why I even bothered to buy such a useless gadget.

Taking it out of my pocket, I flipped it open and held it to my ear. "What the fuck do you want?" came my usual greeting, not caring who was on the other line.

"My, my Sanzo, is that the way to talk to your old classmate?" came a familiar voice, a touch of humor lacing his tone, "I missed you too, you know…"

I narrowed my eyes, realizing who I was talking to. "Well I don't Homura," I spat out with disgust, "how'd you get my number?"

"You'll be surprised about the many things one can learn from Goku's phone…" he remarked. And speaking of Goku, you must want to know how he's doing…"

"Hell no," I retorted, "What makes you think I'd give a damn about him?"

"Oh really?" he replied, feigning surprise at this revelation, "well, it was a waste calling you to tell you your dear lover's calling for you then…"

At his words, I felt my heart beat, no pound, faster than it should have. "What that fuck are you talking about?" I demanded, half hoping that he was entailing what I think he was implying.

"He was calling for you, for a long time now," he replied, his voice grave and without its accompanied humor. "He doesn't know this but he calls for you in his sleep. In the four years that has passed this habit of his never stopped. And just this morning, he cried out you name just as he cam… I mean, he called out you name and let's just say he was well, half conscious of what he was doing this time…" I can hear his uneasy chuckle from the other end of the line.

Part of me wanted to rush right over to Sendai City, envelop Goku in my arms and whisper to him sweet nothings, but suddenly, my inflated ego kicked in. "And I should care why?"

"Sanzo, Sanzo, Sanzo, you haven't learned have you?" he remarked knowingly, "You and your ego… Well, I guess I'm not saying good-bye to my fucking toy tonight… I was hoping to give him back to his proper owner. I mean after what happened today, I figured that he'd want to stop the nightly routines and you know me… I have my needs but what can I do… force him despite his guilt? It's a… exciting prospect, but I can't have him telling me off to Gojyo or Hakkai now can I? That'll end me up in jail. Too bad though, he was a delightful plaything while it lasted…"

I gritted my teeth in irritation. I had half a mind to just torture him in every and the most grotesque and painful way possible that he will welcome death with open arms if not for the small fact that he was in Sendai City, and I, in Tokyo. "Don't you dare talk about him like that…" I spat out, "he is not a damn toy…"

"What would you care? After all didn't you say just a few minutes ago you didn't give a damn about him…? Oops… the game is starting. I better go and cheer my little doll on. Sayonara!" And with that, the line went dead.

With a growl of frustration, I threw the phone against the wall, not caring that it had cost me a small fortune. Damn him.

Grabbing my wallet and my coat, I sped out of my apartment, and ran towards the nearest train station with a bullet train heading to Sendai City.

**Goku's POV**

I jumped, ready to shoot what might be our team's last chance for a victory. Time was running out and our goal was right there, just a few feet away from me. I knew we could still win yet it seemed that our triumph won't come easily for just as I was about to make my move, two players from Tohoku Fukushi University tried to block my three point shot.

"I guess they aren't giving up," I realized, but I was ready for them. I faked a shot, and as soon as my feet touched the smooth surface of the court, I leaped up again, my opponents unable to stop me this time.

As the ball left my fingertips, time seemed to have stopped. Slowly, I watched it sail in an arc land perfectly inside the red metal hoop. And just as it did, the referee blew the whistle, signaling the end of the game with a score of 89-88.

"We did it…" I breathed, a lopsided grin founding its way onto my lips. Applause and cheers erupted from inside the stadium. My teammates and our coach came running towards me, jumping and shouting in happiness, hardly believing that we won, finally beating our long-time rival, Tohoku Fukushi University!

I tried to scan the crowd, hoping to get a glimpse of Hakkai and Gojyo, and maybe even, a certain someone, but my teammates who were crowding around me made it hard for me to do so.

"I guess he didn't come after all…" I thought glumly, "who was I kidding? Thinking he might actually come this time…"

I was shaken out of my thoughts when I suddenly felt myself being hoisted up and found myself on top of our center's shoulders, my team and the crowd, all cheering my name.

I tried to manage a smile. I should be happy and I am, really I am. I mean we finally won! For three long years, Fukushi University kicked our asses but not anymore. And on top of that, it was I who brought us our long awaited victory. And yet, I didn't feel like celebrating.

"Victory party guys!" one of my teammates announced, "my place!"

A roar from the rest of the team followed.

I climbed down from our center's shoulders, and gave my team a weak and forced smile. "You go ahead guys," I told them, "I'll take a rain check."

"What?" they exclaimed.

"What that fuck Goku?" One of them replied, "We won and out of everyone here in this team, you're deserve this party the most! I mean, you did make the winning shot…"

"Yeah!" they agreed in unison, concern faintly etched within their eyes.

"Yeah well, I'll go celebrate with you guys some other time, ok?" I promised, hoping that they'll agree, "I'm really beat from the game and all, and I just want to go home and rest…"

"Come on guys, if he doesn't want to go, it's his decision," our coach said, "but you do deserve this you know…"

"Thanks anyway," I said, thanking every deity up in heaven that our coach isn't forcing me to go as well. "Have fun you guys," I added as an afterthought, before grabbing my stuff and heading to the locker rooms.

"But it'll still more fun if you came along Goku," our captain remarked.

"Don't worry, I'm sure it'll still be fun whether or not I'll be there," I exclaimed, giving them a smile of reassurance.

As soon as I was safely inside the locker rooms, I breathed out a big sigh of relief. Thank God that was over. I set down my duffel bag into one of the benches and sat down beside it, wiping my face with a towel, contemplating.

My teammates are really a good bunch of people. I mean, though we sometimes fool around and contend in some friendly competition once in a while, at the end of the day we'd always be friends. You can say that the team is sort of like a brotherhood or something like that. And though we'd never admit it out loud, we share a bond where, underneath our tough guy façades, there is brotherly care and concern for one another.

Although this is a usually good thing, sometimes, it becomes hard for me to keep my façade straight and just act normal if something is wrong and I don't want them to be aware about it. Especially since, they'd know if something is bugging me, even if my face doesn't even show it.

I sighed. Standing up, I kicked of my shoes and socks, and peeled off my sweaty uniform before stepping into the shower and letting the cold water caress every sore muscle and limb in my body.

For a while, I let my thoughts surrender to the oblivion, detaching myself from all my sorrows, hoping that with the water cascading down from me and onto the tiled floor, all my bitterness and pain I've long locked up inside of me would go along with it. From the back of my mind, I heard the door of the locker room open and even though I couldn't see him, I knew perfectly well who it was, or I assumed so.

"Make me forget again," I thought bitterly, "make me forget the pain of it all... I am yours to take, Homura."

**Sanzo's POV**

I bent over and rested against a wall, trying to gasp whatever breath I had left. "Fucking hell," I cursed, before staggering my way into the Sendai Gymnasium.

Once inside, I saw that all the bleachers were empty and there was no one save the maintenance crew in sight.

"I'm sorry sir but you have to leave," one of the nearby janitors told me, "the game ended half an hour ago and everybody already left…"

"Damn," I swore under my breath. I thought that if I rode the bullet train 5, maybe I just might get here in time, but I guess the fucking gods are again trying to get onto my last nerves. Oh joy!

"Fine," I snapped, the janitor, flinching at my tone, wishing he had just ignored me.

"Umm… you might want to dry yourself or something in the locker rooms before you go…" he stuttered, giving me some of the sort consolation, pointing to the said place.

I rolled my eyes but walked towards the locker room anyways. If there was one thing I hated, it's to have the feeling of one's sweat drenched clothes stick to you like second skin.

As I pushed open the heavy metal doors, I heard the sound of water, a faucet, or rather, an open shower. Curiously yet cautiously, I headed towards the source of the sound, already thinking up of ways to terrorize that janitor for lying to me.

Then, it seemed as if the past has once again come back to haunt me. For there, right in front of me, a boy of chestnut brown hair stood, facing the wall where the shower head was mounted upon. The water, cascading down every taunt muscle of his body, just like the rain had four years ago. As I gazed at him, it dawned to me that, my feet had suddenly stuck itself onto the floor and no matter how much my mind screamed for them to get a move no and turn away, they refused to follow.

I felt heat rise up to my cheeks as it had suddenly occurred to me that he was unclothed, and I averted my gaze, though not as quickly as I should have. Spying a fresh white bath towel inside a duffel bag on the bench behind me, I fished it out and held it out.

"You better get out of there soon or you'll catch a damn cold," I remarked, keeping my voice as neutral and monotone as possible.

Setting my gaze firmly on the tiled floor beside me, I heard him whip around, probably surprised at who his companion was or rather, turned out to be. For a while, no one said anything, only the sound of the running water and our breaths echoed inside the room. Then, after a long time of tranquility, I heard a turn of a knob, the sound of the water diminishing into the silence as I felt the white towel leave my grasp.

I knew he was already, okay barely, yet at least clothed yet my eyes never left the floor. I guess you can say that despite it having been four years since we last saw each other, the wounds haven't entirely healed yet.

"Damn the gods for putting me in such a compromising situation," I cursed inwardly, "I swear once I die, I'll barge into them and make them as miserable as I possibly can."

"Umm… thanks…" Goku mumbled, breaking the silence, uneasiness evident in his voice, "for the towel you know…"

"Ch…" came my response.

"I guess you haven't changed have you…?" He mumbled barely audibly, disappointed.

From the corner of my eye, I saw him walking towards me, or rather to where his belongings, his eyes downcast. I felt our shoulders brush against each other then, for some apparent reason, I grabbed his arm, stopping him in his tracks.

Part of me didn't know why in the fucking heavens did I do that and my ego was screaming for me to let go. Yet this time, I was doing this my way. No more, I wasn't going to let myself shrivel and hide behind my iron façade. And I will most definitely not prove that pervert Homura right. I have to do this, right here, right now.

"Look," I started, not really knowing quite what to say, "I know I really screwed up in the past and all… and… damn, this really isn't my department… look, I'm really just fucking sorry okay!"

**Goku's POV**

At his words, I felt myself laugh. Four years ago, I would've easily believed him, blindly accepted this and would shrug the past of as nothing but the past. But I have long grown and learned since this. And now, I knew better.

"Are you really?" I whispered, "That's a laugh…" I remarked, "So what made you do it? Come back and apologize I mean? Guilt…? Nah… You long threw away your feelings, even before I met you. But you know, I once thought that, maybe, just maybe your emotions, they're still there somewhere inside of you, the real you. And I just have to dig deep to get to them." I stopped, vaguely feeling a solitary tear rolling down my right cheek.

"But now as I look back, I realize, I was foolish to think such," I continued, "Foolish, utterly foolish…"

My sight was temporarily blinded with hot tears welling up in my eyes. I hugged myself, in search for some solace and comfort that I had long sought for, when, I felt a pair of strong arms wrap themselves around me and hug me from behind. Suddenly, I felt as if belonged there, to his touch and warmth. As I felt myself melt into his arms, all the longing and aching, had suddenly gone; the cold that had once enveloped me in all its gloom was replaced by a warm glow emanating from Sanzo and it seemed that finally, my broken heart has after four years, finally found the final missing piece.

"I came because I wanted to…" I heard him whisper.

It was then that I realized that this may be the closest thing to a love confession I'll ever get out of Sanzo, but even if there were no spoken words of love between us, the love will always be there, burning on.

I smiled. "I love you too… Sanzo…"

**Normal POV**

From behind a corner in the locker room, mismatched golden and aquamarine eyes watched the scene in front of him with great interest. Soon, a smile, or rather, a smirk would be better suited to describe such a despicable grin, found its way onto his lips.

"And they lived happily ever after…" he murmured, his eyes gleaming with a malicious glee, "the end… or maybe not…"

"That was rather noble of you, Homura," came a deep voice behind him, "I never dreamed to see the day that you'd finally let go of Goku."

"Yeah well…" the man known to be Homura replied, without turning to face his companion, "his same submissive routine over and over again…. fucking with Goku got a little boring…"

A red eyebrow raised in surprise. "Oh?" came a reply, "so is that why you gave him up? And what have you to gain by doing so?"

"I guess you can say a new toy caught my eye and I want him in bed"

"And who may this 'new toy' be?"

"Haven't you caught on yet? Why it my toy's feisty little owner…"

-End.

1 The black leather bag thingie that looks like a file case that lawyers uses… I don't really know what it's called so just correct me if I'm wrong. ü

2 Takaoka College of Law in Tokyo City

3 Short for medical coat. Self explanatory

4 As of the year 2000.ok? I'm not sure now….

5 The travel time for the fastest bullet train from Tokyo to Sendai would be roughly 2 hours.

**A/N:** Wow! I actually finished this fic… finally! I still can't believe I finished it… Lol Anyways, as you can see I left the fic with an open ending… hehehe… And since there is a very slim chance of a sequel or follow-up fic or whatever, you'd just have to get your imagination gears running and think up of your own beautiful (or grotesque) way to sack Homura.☺ In any case, I would like to thank everyone who spared some time to read or at least attempt to read this fic. Also, a whole lot of thanks to those who reviewed and added me/my fic to their author/story alert or to their favorites. And lastly, special thanks to those who've bothered to review even just once and, to those who've read this from the very beginning and up until now. Bye- bye!

P.S. Sorry if it was longer than usual…☺

(oct20.o5; 8:33p.m.)

**My reply to the reviewers:**

garrulous-seeker: sorry for the long wait!

sanzoxgoku lover : aww... thanks! i'm so touched...

Nekida: i'm glad you liked the park scene

yuriqo: i'm not that good... there are others who are way better than me... don't worry this chap is overloading with sanzoxgoku

evil punk: yeah! bad goku! lol

kiarah: thanks!

sk88ersam: i'm glad you thought so...

shinoa Yuuki: thanks! glad you liked it andthought it was worth it!

Koharu-chan:lol thanks very much!

Blood-Debt: hahaha! thank you all the same!

Crazy-Silly-Me: lol! Sanzo will kill you for beating up Goku! hahaha

cheerful-angel57: hahaha sorry for the mean cliffie!

**My deepest thanks to:**

Evil in Purity/Evil Punk/wasted loser/Evil(same person), Drarry Radton, cheerful-angel57/Den..., Am1-13th, Snake Mistress, Genjo Sanzo 1, ethereal-tenshi, kiestje, annonymouse, tennis-tensai, MOMOLA, kohaku-the-dark-angel, yuriqo/Nored, ice-dagger13, hanae-mirai, CookiesRock, mr.giggles, StarianPrincess, Crazy-Silly-Me, LynnLin, Ying Fa19, Komoyo Minku, Akito-kun, Destiny 852, dark abaddon, sk88ersam, Sanzo+Goku-lover/SanzoxGoku lover,Me-Nuriko, phyllis, Kurisutaru39, lin, Tree Girl, Chobit 00, airashal moon, Koinu ChiX0r, Wilson, Koto Juri, Blood-Debt, CT Saiyukily Twisted/CT, IchikoKitsumeKoumori, dragonfly-affinity, Kaede11, MasQu3raiN, xXxYuUrAiNxXx, Allie-chan, lost little girl, Celenah, blaCkFaia-nEkO, YJ, Sorceress Sakura, saiyukigurl227, Kiarah, Nekida, garrulous-seeker, and to those who read this but didn't review...

**Thanks so much!**

(oct22'o5;12:52p.m.)


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